Remembrance
by LMRaven
Summary: "Who is she?"  "She is everything?" He answered reverently. The soul and heart remember what the mind has forgotten. Third Person POV, All Human. Canon Pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Here is my new story idea. I haven't stopped writing Eternal Moon but this idea came to me and I found I suddenly had to put it down. Please let me know if you think it's worth continuing in your reviews as this is a complete departure from what I usually write when writing Twilight Fanfiction. It's completely third person POV and all human.

All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

_I Believe in You_

_You don't remember me, but I remember you  
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you  
But who can decide what they dream, and dream I do._

I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you  
To live, to breathe  
You're taking over me

Have you forgotten all I know and all we had  
You saw me mourning my love for you and touched my hand  
I knew you loved me then

I believe in you  
I'll give up everthing just to find you  
I have to be with you  
To live, to breathe  
You're taking over me

I look in the mirror and see your face  
If I look deep enough  
So many things inside that just like you  
Are taking over

I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you  
To live, to breathe  
You're taking over me  


Evanescence

"Who is she?"

"She is everything."

The soul and heart remember what the mind has forgotten.

**Edward Cullen and Jasper Hale's Upper East Side Penthouse New York City, Present Day**

The doctors had said the memory loss was common and most likely only temporary. It had been 6 months since he had been home, 8 months since he had woken up from the coma that had taken 2 months from his life. He didn't remember the explosion that threw him in the air causing him to have severe head trauma, he didn't even remember the entire month preceding the incident. He was one of the lucky ones that day. All of his friends had perished in the blast. His last recollection from before he had awoken in the VA hospital bed was putting on civilian clothes to go out to have a few well deserved beers with his buddies at a local bar in Baghdad that catered to American soldiers.

Physically, he was much improved. He had worked hard at the physical therapy for months and was finally back in the condition he had been in as a soldier. Only Edward Cullen knew that despite the improvement of his body, his mind had not followed. At the beginning he pushed himself daily to remember, knowing instinctively there was something very important that he had forgotten. His doctors even his family cautioned him not to push so hard, that the memories would come back in their own time. All the effects from his former life as a US soldier were stored in one box in the back of his closet at his brother's insistence. He would open it when he was ready. But Edward knew that until he remembered he would never be at peace.

The dreams in the beginning were the worst. He felt like he was grasping for something he could never reach. Constantly running towards something or someone that was ever elusive.

"Edward…Edward wake up, man." Edward felt someone shaking his shoulder. Opening his eyes he saw his adopted brother, Jasper leaning over him with a worried expression on his face.

"Was I dreaming again?" He asked, his voice hoarse from sleep.

"Yeah. You were screaming about bells again. You haven't had that dream in awhile."

So what triggered it now? His family members had told him when he first awakened from the coma he would cry out in his sleep. One word. Bell. Most of the time it would sound like "Bell" followed by an "aahh". He was never able to make sense of it and wasn't sure if he ever would. There were never any bells in his dreams or any sound of them.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up." Edward told him scrubbing the sleep from his face.

"No worries. I was heading out anyway. Alice can't go out tonight so I am spending the day with her instead."

Edward sat up straighter at this tidbit of news. "Really?" he asked curiously. "This is the third date. Sounds serious."

Jasper grinned at him. "What can I say? Something about her calls to me. You know you should join the living once in awhile…you might like it." He paused, thinking. "You know Alice has a roommate." At this Edward groaned. "I'm just saying."

He really had no desire to meet anybody. He couldn't explain why.

"You do remember the last time you tried to set me up, don't you?" If Jasper didn't, he sure did. It was two months ago and it was a total disaster. The girl, Tanya, was very forward and couldn't keep her hands off him, constantly touching him in ways that were all together inappropriate for a first date. Not that he was a prude but it completely turned him off. There was also a niggling feeling in the back of his head that she wasn't right. She wasn't _the_ one.

"I haven't met the roommate yet but from what Alice tells me she doesn't go out much either. Maybe the two of you can _not_ go out together."

"No thanks." Edward grumbled. He really wished Jasper would stop making these futile attempts to set him up.

"Well, you can't say I didn't try." Jasper shrugged. In truth Jasper feared for his brother. He wasn't the same since he came home. Granted he had been through hell and back but all Edward did was immerse himself in the security consulting business that he, Edward and their other brother Emmett started up.

"Just go meet Alice." Edward told him. 'I'll see you later."

It was 11:30 am that day when Edward found himself on the observation deck of the Empire State Building. It was funny he thought. Being a native New Yorker, he had never been here before. It was a tourist trap that he always avoided before. But something compelled him to be here. He noted the date, September 13, on the daily paper as he was drinking his morning coffee and time stopped. Somehow knew he had to be here on this particular date at this particular time. He didn't know why. He only knew that it was vitally important.

Edward maneuvered through the sea of tourists that were taking pictures from every available open space. He didn't even know what or who he was looking for. Finally he just stopped as people pushed past him, waiting for some recognition of why he should be there.

**Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq, August, one year ago**

It was her scent that captivated him first. A warm breeze the scent of freesia and vanilla wafted over him as he sat in the local Iraqi dive bar with his fellow soldiers. He only knew that it was freesia because his mother, Esme's hobby was botany. Edward turned to look for where the intoxicating scent was coming from and saw _her_.

She sat by herself nursing a glass of wine and typing on a laptop computer. He had never seen her before but was instantly entranced. Her mahogany hair was swept up in a messy ponytail, some tendrils escaping the scrunchy to frame her face. He only saw her profile. Her skin luminous and pale, her expression contemplative. Edward felt like he had been punched in the gut. The buzz of conversation and laughter around him dimmed until he could hear only his heart pounding furiously in his chest. Nothing else existed…it was just her. He didn't know what was happening but suddenly he knew that his whole center of gravity revolved around her.

"Edward!" A voice called to him shaking him from his reverie.

"Hmm, what?" he asked annoyed that he had to take his attention from her.

"Hey, where did you go? We've been trying to get your attention for 5 minutes now." His friend Cody said.

"Who is that?" Edward asked him pointing at the girl.

"Oh, her. That's Isabella Swan…excuse me _Bella_ Swan. She'll correct you if you call her Isabella."

Bella. His internal voice sighed as if her name belonged on his lips, in his heart.

"She's not a soldier is she?" Edward was suddenly horrified at the concept of this beautiful creature engaged in combat.

"Her? Nah. She's a reporter with the AP Newswire. Just got here yesterday." His other friend Joe replied.

James, another soldier at the table, one he never liked suddenly snickered. "Don't think you're getting in her pants. I already tried. I think she's frigid or maybe she plays for the other team if you know what I mean"

Edward resisted the urge to pummel him to the ground. "Maybe you're just an asshole." He muttered under his breath. "Excuse me." Edward pushed his chair back letting it scrape along the floor as he got up and walked over to the table where the girl, Bella, sat.

Bella took another sip of the horrible wine and grimaced. Truly what did she expect in a place like this. The stuff couldn't even qualify as mediocre. She should have opted for a cold beer, at least she hoped it would be cold. Who knew in a place like this hell hole? She didn't dare drink the water. She barely even wanted to wash her hair with it.

I should be used to this by now, she thought. Her career as an Associated Press reporter always brought her to these Godforsaken war ravaged places. It was a challenge in the beginning. She used to get a high from traveling around from one story to another but lately it all became tedious. She was almost 28. It was time to settle down in one place. Perhaps when this job was over she would get a job with one of the New York papers that had been hounding her to work for them. She could take her best friend, Ali up on her offer and move in with her. All in all it wasn't a bad plan. She made a mental note to start making phone calls before she got back to New York.

She heard someone clear his throat next to her. Annoyed that some soldier was probably going to hit on her…again she didn't bother looking up. Maybe if she ignored him, he would go away.

"You know you could seriously hurt your eyes concentrating so hard on that screen." His voice was pure sinuous velvet and flowed through her like a caress. She couldn't help but look up to see who the voice belonged to. She wasn't disappointed. He was tall, lean and muscular with bronze hair and the most intense green eyes she had ever seen on another human being and he was smiling. At her.

"May I?" He asked pointing at the other chair at her table signaling that he was asking if he could sit with her.

Mutely she nodded. Don't be such a dork Bella. She scolded herself. Say something. "Uh, sure." Oh that was brilliant. Way to go Swan, she thought.

He did sit down, never taking his eyes off of her. Why was that?

"Do I have a smudge of desert on my face?" she asked reaching into her purse for a compact mirror sure that there could be no other reason for him to stare at her so intently.

He laughed then and shook his head. 'No, there is nothing on your face."

"Oh…so why are you staring at me like that?"

Because I am looking at the woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with, the thought came unbidden into his head. There was no way he could tell her that. He shrugged. It was safer not to answer the question. He wasn't about to scare her off.

"You're Bella?" He said instead.

She was confused. How did he know her name and not just her name but her nickname. "How did you…?"

"Know that you like to be called Bella?" He shrugged again and took a swallow of beer. "The base is like a small town. Word gets around."

"Oh."

"Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm Edward…Edward Cullen." He held out his hand to her.

She placed her hand in his and was momentarily stunned by the shock of electric heat that hummed through her. "Well Edward Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you." She said when she could finally find her voice.

Edward didn't shake her hand as she thought he was going to do. Instead he kissed the back of her hand while simultaneously caressing the inside of her palm with his thumb. She nearly gasped at the sensation and looked at him watching his green eyes darken.

He felt it too, this electric touch. It coursed through his veins and he knew that nothing that happened before this very moment mattered. It was just him and her.

**Bella Swan's and Alice Braden's Soho Loft, New York City, Present Day**

"Happy Birthday Bella!" Alice shouted jumping on Bella's bed with the enthusiasm of a five year old. Bella moaned opening one eye, the other side of her face concealed by her pillow.

"Go away, Alice."

"Not a chance Belly-boo. You need to open up your present before I meet Jasper."

Bella sat up rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "I thought we agreed no presents. "

"No. You said no presents. I, however, did not agree to anything." Alice shoved the gift wrapped box on her hand. "Come on, open it." She said excitedly.

"You always have to get your way don't you?" Bella grumbled carefully untying the massive pink bow on the box. She hated presents or any display of attention.

"Yes, so why fight it?"

Bella pulled from the box a black one shoulder dress. It was simple but elegant. "It's beautiful Alice." She said honestly. And it was. The luxurious silk was smooth as sin beneath her fingers.

"I'm glad you like it. It's from my new line. You'll be the first one ever to wear it…tonight."

"Oh, Alice…you know I may have other plans tonight." Bella hoped she would. They had promised each other a year ago to meet this very day at noon at the Empire State Building just like in the movie "An Affair to Remember". No matter what the other was doing they promised to drop everything and meet at that spot. He said he would have a very important question to ask her. Her entire being was filled with anticipation of this date from the time the words were first spoken and now it was finally here. She wondered worriedly of he would keep his promise like she intended to.

"Are you still hoping on that Edward fellow showing up? I know you seem so certain but sweetie, I don't want you to get your heartbroken." Alice was concerned. For nearly a year since her best friend came to live with her, Bella had been clinging to the hope that the mysterious Edward Cullen would show up just like a scene out of the movies. She had virtually no social life no matter how many men asked her out all because of one soldier she knew for only a month.

"He'll be there." Bella replied though uncertainty rang in her mind. What if he didn't show? What if he realized he made a mistake? After all she never understood why he was drawn to her in the first place. He was too beautiful to look at and she was just plain Bella. There was nothing about her that could hold him.

"If you say so. But we're still going out tonight. If he has waited this long for you, he can wait a little longer."

"So another date with the infamous Jazz again?" Bella said wanting to change the subject. Judging by her friend's wistful expression, it worked.

"Yes. I don't know what it is about him but I am hooked. As soon as I saw him, I knew."

Bella knew the feeling all too well. "Well, don't keep the poor guy waiting. Go. I'll see you later."

Alice didn't need any more nudging. "Okay. Love you." She said getting up and running towards the door.

"Thanks for the dress." Bella called out to her but Alice was already gone leaving Bella alone with her thoughts.

She remembered reading about the explosion near the base soon after she left to go home. For days she searched through the roster of the soldiers that were declared dead fervently praying that he wasn't among them. So many of them she knew, had gotten close to in the month she was there. She cried for the loss of their lives and she cried from joy because Edward's name was not one of the soldiers that had fallen that day. Because of the stringent HIPAA laws, no matter how hard she tried she was unable to find out if he was among the injured. Bella felt like she had contacted every overseas and national VA hospital to see if an Edward Cullen was listed as a patient. Even her reporter's credentials could get her any information. She had to believe he was alright. And he would come for her as he promised.

**Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq, August, one year ago**

"So what made you decide to enlist?" Bella asked Edward curiously taking another sip of her wine.

"Are you using your reporter's wiles on me, Ms. Swan?" He asked her with a lopsided smile on his face.

"No. I really am curious." She said, her finger tracing circles on the rim of her glass.

"Okay, I'll answer your questions if you answer mine." Edward felt the need to know everything about her. He barely knew her yet deep down he felt his soul always knew that she was his.

"Deal. You first."

He laughed. "It's not really interesting but I'll tell you anyway." He wanted to give her some flip answer but he knew she wouldn't accept that and he found himself wanting to tell her the truth. He wanted her to know him just as he wanted to know her. "I had graduated from Dartmouth and found I really had no direction, no concept of what I wanted to do with my life. My father would have like for me to join him in the medical field but I couldn't see myself as a doctor. I couldn't see myself as anything really. This is going to sound like complete boastfulness on my part and I assure you it's not" he chuckled " But everything just came so easily for me, schoolwork, music, finances, etcetera. I lacked challenge in my life so on complete impulse one day, I joined the army…much to my parent's horror "

"I'll bet." Bella responded sardonically. "I doubt being deployed to Iraq lacks challenge."

"That's certainly true. Now it's my turn."

"Your turn?"

"To ask _you_ a question." He took her hand in his. He couldn't help it. He needed to touch her, to have some sort of physical contact again. To see if the electric currents were still there. They were, stronger than ever. "What's your favorite color?"

Out of all the questions he could have asked her, Bella certainly wasn't expecting that one. "Green" she said automatically.

"Green, hmmm. And why is that?"

"It's the color of your eyes." She said and covered her mouth with her free hand, her eyes widening in surprise. "Did I just say that out loud?"

Edward threw his head back and laughed causing everyone in the bar to turn around and look at them. Bella's face turned red. He stopped laughing and looked at her intently.

"You are beautiful when you blush." He told her seriously. "Don't think me too forward but I think I have to kiss you now." He leaned over to her and gently placed his lips on hers. She didn't react at first, she was too surprised but when his mouth fitted around hers coaxing a response, she couldn't help the soft moan that escaped and she found herself giving herself up to the kiss. It was chaste by most standards but the meaning behind the kiss went deeper than anything she had ever experienced. He pulled back, his eyes dark with passion and smiled. Bella was dazzled.

"Your turn?" he whispered.

My turn? What was he talking about? Bella thought unable to think straight. She looked at him with furrowed brows.

"To ask a question." He prompted. "It's your turn."

And so they had continued like that for hours learning each other; question by question, answer by answer and kiss by kiss. To both of them, it was the most magical night either of them ever had.

**Bella Swan's and Alice Braden's Soho Loft, New York City, Present Day**

After taking a shower, Bella tore through her closet undecided on what she was going to wear. What did one wear to see the love of your life whom you hadn't seen in a year? Nothing too dressy. It was only the Empire State Building after all, not Cipriani's. She finally decided on a blue camisole and tight blue jeans. Alice would probably have a heart attack at what she was wearing and would have insisted on something sexier, one of her own creations no doubt but Bella wasn't even sure he would show up. It was best not to look to obvious. In her pocket, Bella placed her half of the picture they had taken together. The half that held the image of Edward. He had kept the half of her image and sworn to each other when they met up again, they would put the two pieces back together, never to separate again.

She took the subway up to 34th street. It was 11:30 when she ran into the elevator ascending up to the observation deck, to her destiny. Her height of lack thereof was a definite disadvantage in trying to see over the amount of tourists in her way. Her eyes wandered over everyone as she walked through the crowd. Was he here? Did he show up as promised? Then her breath caught and held as she saw him. His back was turned to her but she would know him anywhere.

"Edward!" She called out desperately wanting him to hear her over the noise as she ran over to him taking the picture from her pocket.

Edward turned around when he heard his name being called. He saw a beautiful girl with mahogany hair running towards him. She looked elated to see him and he was immediately disappointed that he didn't know her. Something stirred in him as he caught a scent of freesia and vanilla and he didn't quite understand it.

Perhaps she was a key he thought suddenly excited. The key to help him remember the month of his life that was missing. Even as he thought it, he knew it was impossible. What would she have been doing in Iraq?

He looked excited to see her she thought as she finally caught up to him.

"Edward." Bella said smiling trying to catch her breath. His expression went from excited to one of confusion as his brows furrowed.

"I'm sorry…do I know you?" He really hoped he did and if he didn't, he felt like he _needed _to know her.

Bella's face, which up to that point showed nothing but pure unaldurated joy was now etched in deep sorrow, her eyes welling with tears threatening to spill.

She shook her head. "No. Not anymore." She turned dropping the picture and ran off holding in the sobs that threatened to burst forth."

Edward looked down at what the beautiful girl had dropped and picked it up.

"Miss…you dropped some…" His voice trailed off as he realized she was already gone. Turning over the paper, he gasped. It was a picture or rather half of one. The picture was of him in his army uniform. He was looking down adoringly at someone that was not in the photograph. A sense of overwhelming sadness came over him that threatened to bring him to his knees. Why couldn't he remember?


	2. Chapter 2

**Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq, August, one year ago**

The bar had become ridiculously crowded as the night wore on. Though their body language signaled they wanted to be alone, Bella and Edward were continuously being interrupted by either Edward's soldier buddies or Bella's colleagues.

"Way to go Cullen. About time." Edward's friend Eric Yorkie said to him after a well meaning punch on the arm. Edward rolled his eyes as Bella grinned at him raising an eyebrow.

"He's a pain in the ass but he's harmless. Do you want to get out of here?"

Bella thought he would never ask. She was never one for crowds but now it seemed like she was the center of attention all because she was sitting with Edward.

"Please." She responded taking the last gulp of her drink and packing up her laptop.

"Here, let me carry that for you." Edward put the laptop bag over one shoulder and took Bella's hand in his as they made their way outside to the quiet of the street.

"So where are we going?" Bella asked him. Since this was only her second day there, she hadn't had time to explore much outside the general vicinity of her hotel and only parts of the base, which were quite enormous.

"I want to show you something. Don't worry we're not headed out of the Green Zone." As if to emphasize the importance of staying within the zone, blasts of automatic weapons could be heard in the distance. "So are you staying at the Al Rasheed?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

Edward shrugged and smiled. "All the reporters stay there. It's probably the safest place for you to be." He stopped suddenly as a sudden thought occurred to him and turned to her tilting her face up with his hand. "Promise me you won't leave the safe zone…at least not without me. There are many dangers out there."

Bella bristled a bit at his protectiveness. She had been in danger zones before, knew what to expect and knew how to handle herself. "It's my job, Edward. I have to go where my bosses tell me."

He caressed her cheek tenderly. "It's just that I feel very protective of you" He knew he sounded like an overly protective romantic fool but he was being honest. He wouldn't, he _couldn't _risk losing her. No one in his thirty years had ever affected him this powerfully. He never really went out with anyone for more than a few dates since high school, had never been emotionally invested in any girl and now after only a few hours, he found the connection he had been waiting for his whole life.

"Shouldn't I be the one telling you to be careful? After all I am not the one in the military."

Edward grinned then feeling amused at her feistiness. This acerbic kitten had some claws. "Actually I am more IT than combat. I go in the field occasionally but most of my work is done right in the base."

"Oh." Was all she could respond. This was a good thing. It had been a worry that she started to fall for this man so easily and he could just as quickly be killed at a moment's notice. Finding out that he worked mostly behind the scenes relieved her. That he should be worried about her was ridiculous, however. It's not like she had never been behind enemy lines before. Besides, where she was located was probably the one of the most secure places to be in this country.

Bella couldn't believe this was real, that he was real. She half expected to wake up in her dad's house in Forks, Washington and this would all be a dream. Edward led her into a dimly lit courtyard filled with grass and wildflowers. It was unheard of in this part of the world that such a place could exist. Even in the dark she could sense its beauty.

"This is it." Edward said proudly. "A little piece of heaven smack dab in the middle of hell."

"Oh, Edward it's beautiful." She said gazing around her. "It reminds me of a meadow where I went to high school in Forks, Washington."

"It pales in comparison to you." He told her seriously.

She blushed as he knew she would. He loved that her cheeks colored and her heart rate increased every time he paid her a compliment.

"I wish that were true." She mumbled.

"You don't see yourself very clearly you know." It made him wonder if she wasn't used to being told how amazing she was. He couldn't believe that no one had snatched her up yet.

He kissed her feeling the searing heat of their lips joining. Her mouth opened up to him and their tongues met in a fiery dance. Never moving his lips from hers he placed her laptop on the ground and with a groan wrapped his arms around her, molding himself to her body.

Bella couldn't get enough of him. Her arms wound around him and her hands fisted into his hair to bring him even closer. She knew at that moment that she was irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen.

**Bella Swan's and Alice Brandon's Soho Loft, New York City, Present Day**

Bella slammed the apartment door closed and threw her pocketbook off her shoulder and let the tears she had been holding back cascade down her face. He didn't remember her? After all the words, all the promises made, how could he not remember her? He looked at her like she was crazy and perhaps she was. She should have known better than to believe him a year ago but she was taken in by his beautiful lies and his beautiful face. She had wondered why he never answered her letters that she sent over the months, didn't want to believe it but now she could deny it no more when the truth had stared at her in the face.

She never even thought to question what he was doing there then at the exact date and time they promised to meet. All of the anticipation, all the love she garnered in her heart, all of that time…wasted. She felt a hole starting to grow where her heart should be, becoming wider and wider. How much more would it grow before there was nothing left of her?

Bella made her way over to the leather couch and just sat there, staring at nothing, the tears flowing silently down her face. She never bothered to wipe them away. That was how Alice found her hours later when she came home.

"Bella? Bella?" Alice asked concerned waving her hand in front of Bella's face trying to get the attention of her near catatonic friend. "Bella snap out of it." She ordered with a loud clap of her hands.

Bella finally started to show some sign of life as she brought her eyes to meet Alice's.

"Finally." Alice signed in relief. "I was beginning to think the real Bella Swan was replaced by one of those wax figures from Madame Toussad's."

"Oh Alice." Bella cried gut wrenching sobs consuming her all over again. Alice held her friend comfortingly, soothing her hair back from her face.

"Shh, sweetie. Mr. Wonderful didn't show, huh?" Alice, never usually violent, now wished she could pummel a certain Edward Cullen for breaking her best friend's heart like this.

Bella pulled back, rubbing the tears from her eyes. "Oh, he showed alright." Bella said vehemently.

"I don't understand…then what's the problem."

"He didn't know who I was."

"WHAT? That creep." Alice was incensed. "How could he not know who you are?"

"I don't know. He just didn't. I went right up to him and called his name. Oh Alice, he looked sooo good. He just looked at me like I had two heads and said. 'I'm sorry, do I know you?' I couldn't believe it. I don't remember what I said to him after that and then I just ran. I couldn't get out of there fast enough."

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry." Alice said sympathetically.

"I should've known it was too good to be true." She sat up shrugging off Alice's comforting embrace. "Listen, I don't think I feel up to going out tonight." In truth, she just wanted to crawl into the nearest hole and die.

Alice looked at her determinedly and gripped her friend's hands. "Now you listen to me, Isabella Marie Swan, we _are_ going out tonight and you _are_ going to look hot in that dress I made for you and you _are_ going to have fun!" Despite Alice's petite frame, she pulled Bella up off the couch. "Come with me."

Alice practically dragged her to the kitchen and pushed her into a chair while she pulled a cucumber out of the refrigerator and started cutting slices.

"I'm really not hungry Alice."

"These aren't for your stomach; they are for your eyes. Here" She placed two slices over Bella's eyes.

"I look ridiculous."

"And you'd look even more ridiculous going out later with red puffy eyes. Now stay put and let the cucumbers do their magic."

**Ca mp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq, August, one year ago**

Edward felt someone nudging him awake. "Go away" He groaned covering his eyes with his arm.

"Hey lover boy. Wake up. Breakfast in 10 minutes. You better be there or you're going to get fried."

"Shit" He muttered fully awake now. He had been out really late last night. After dropping Bella off at her hotel, he wandered around the base in a near glow. He hadn't been ready to go back to the barracks and face the questions of his friends yet.

_Bella_, he thought smiling. Who would have thought he would find the woman of his dreams in this war torn country? And she _was_ the woman of his dreams. She just didn't know it yet. He knew she felt the connection as much as he did but neither of them wanted to admit it fully to the other. It was too fresh, too new yet. Already, though he began making plans. He was done with this a year from now. One more year on September 1st he would be able to have his own life again and he wanted that life to include Bella.

Edward knew now what he wanted to do. He had already talked with his brothers about starting a computer security consulting company. Thanks to the army he had significant experience in that area and he could always tap into the enormous trust fund his grandmother left him for start up money. He had the career direction he had been searching for and now by some stroke of luck he had the personal direction he never knew he was searching for until he found it; Bella.

He arrived at the mess hall to hear a bunch of his fellow soldiers hoot, holler and clap at him. He ignored them and sat down.

"Late night last night Cullen?" His friend Sam asked him.

"I think the boy is glowing. Aww, our Edward is in love." Cody said.

"Or lust." Someone else shouted.

"Okay boys enough." Edward told them. There was only so much teasing he would take. "Let's eat huh, we have some enemies to pulverize."

"Just make sure you can keep your eyes on the prize Cullen and off the tight ass of a certain reporter." James said mockingly.

Edward lost it and launched himself over the table, his chair flying backwards as he gripped James' collar. A few others had to pry them apart.

"C'mon." Sam said in his ear. "We're all on the same side here."

Edward nodded once, still very tense. "Fine" He said through clenched teeth. "You!" He pointed at James. "You don't talk about her. You don't look at her and you damn well better make sure you never touch her." His rage was barely contained and James knew it but he couldn't help but fuel the fire.

"That sounds like a challenge Cullen." He said cocking an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're up to the competition?"

Edward gritted his teeth and wanted to kick himself for being so foolish. He didn't know James well but he knew his type and he just made this the most exciting game ever for him.

"Enough you two. Back to your corners. We have a job to do."

**Tudor City Greens, NYC, Present Day**

He had wandered for what seemed like hours replaying the events of earlier in his mind. Who was she? Edward thought to himself. He felt like he was on the verge of a major breakthrough but the more he tried to grasp at the straws that were his memory, the more they slipped away. Somehow he knew the girl with the haunted look on the observation deck is or was important to him and he cursed himself for his faulty brain.

Without any conscious thought of where he was headed, Edward found himself at Tudor City Greens, a little gem of a park on East 42nd and 1st Avenue. He had discovered it by accident after he had come home from Baghdad and he had stopped here occasionally to enjoy this semi private solace. Not many knew or cared of its existence not when Central Park was the preferable spot for tourists, which was just fine with him. He supposed he came here because it reminded him of a small garden he had inadvertently found in Iraq.

"_A little piece of heaven smack dab in the middle of hell."_

"_Oh, Edward it's beautiful."_

"_It pales in comparison to you."_

"_I wish that were true."_

Startled, Edward looked around to find out where the voices were coming from. He saw an old couple, a business man and a mother and child. He knew the voices did not come from them. Maybe they came from him, from inside his own head and Edward wondered. Was he finally starting to remember or was he just going crazy?


	3. The Claiming

Warning: This chapter is for mature audiences only. Lol. Review appreciated.

_**Baghdad, Iraq, August, One year Ago**_

"If I ever see another bag of trail mix, it will be too soon." Bella announced throwing the bag of nuts and dried fruit in her bag and took a long gulp of bottled water. She only ate the stuff because it was supposed to help her retain the water her body so desperately needed in this desert climate. He skin felt gritty from the sand and the salt from the sweat that dried on her skin as soon as it formed.

"I never cared for the stuff much myself." Her colleague and old high school friend, Ben Cheney commented. They were riding in the back of a Hum-v getting bounced around on their way to their next assignment in the field. Activity was picking up in the southern part of the region and they were told to basically get in the middle of it to get the story out to the public. Dressed in full protective gear for their safety, Bella, Ben and his wife, their other colleague Angela were being driven to the outer lying parts of the area. Close enough to report but hopefully far enough away to stay out of any real danger.

"So, you and the gorgeous Lieutenant Cullen, huh?" Angela asked Bella with a smile. At that comment, Ben playfully elbowed his wife in the arm. "Hey, I'm married not dead you know. And even if I weren't attached, I still wouldn't stand a chance…not with the way he looks at looks at Bella. That boy is in love."

Bella felt herself blush. It was true, she had fallen hard and fast for Edward Cullen. After that first night, for the past few weeks they had spent every available moment together becoming more deeply involved than she thought was good for her, though they hadn't reached that sexual pinnacle yet. She had discovered that Edward was pretty old fashioned but it was only a matter of time before the flames of desire consumed them both.

"We're going to the cinema in town tonight. They're playing one of my favorite old Cary Grant movies…'An Affair to Remember'" Bella answered her friends.

"I can't believe you're making him sit through that." Ben said rolling his eyes. "It's such a chic flick."

"Actually, it was his suggestion."

"Now I know that boy's in love."

Bella's felt her leg vibrate and fished her cell phone out of her cargo pocket. Edward had texted her.

_From Lt. Cullen: Heard u r in the field today…Be Safe… please._

Bella smiled and texted back.

_From Isabella Swan: Always_

"Edward?" Angela asked noticing the smitten look on Bella's face.

"Yeah." She said putting her phone away. "He wants me to be safe."

Ben laughed sputtering his water. "Does he _know_ how clumsy you are?"

Bella frowned at him. "It may have come up." She retorted. It actually came up a few times. Edward, for some reason found her klutziness amusing and had even called it adorable on a few occasions. That was probably because every time she tripped, she landed in his arms.

"Oh, Ben leave her alone….look I think we're here…we're stopping." Angela said already packing her stuff to head out of the truck.

"Here we go again." Bella said as she was helped out of the truck by James, the officer that had hit on her the first night she was there. He held on to her waist a little too long for comfort and the way he had been constantly staring at her lately was starting to get to her.

She turned to give him a perplexed look when he finally let her go and he saluted her with a leering grin.

"I don't like the way that one looks at you." Angela whispered to her as they walked to the sheltering tent that was set up nearby.

"Neither do I, Angela, neither do I."

_**The Boom Boom Room, Meatpacking District, **__**NYC, present day**_

Bella and Alice sat at a table drinking margaritas in the trendy A-list bar. Bella would rather be at the dentist than sitting among the loud, happy drunk people that wanted to see and be seen but she did not want to disappoint Alice. She was supposed to be somewhere else tonight, she thought wistfully. She was supposed to be happy and in love. But instead she was in love but miserable. How could he have forgotten her? After all she thought they shared. She had given him her heart and he cast it away as if it meant nothing.

"Bella, could you at least fake a smile? It is your birthday after all." Alice complained.

"I'm sorry Alice. I'll try to be better company. I promise." Bella told her taking another sip of her drink.

"I know what will help." She said with a mischievous smile. Alice held up her hand to call over a frantic looking waiter. "Two shots of Patron, please."

Bella groaned. She did not do well with shots.

Moments later the waiter came back with Alice's order. They both took their glasses in hand.

"To new beginnings." Alice toasted and clinked her glass with Bella's.

Bella felt the fiery liquid burn her throat and held back a cough. Already she was beginning to feel a little lightheaded.

"So tell me about Jazz." Bella asked shouting above the music.

Alice shook her head. "Nope. We are not discussing guys. Tonight is strictly about us girls. We're dancing."

Bella fervently shook her head. "You know I can't dance."

Alice paid her friend no mind but instead puller her to her feet. "The tequila and I say you do."

Before she knew it Bella was on the dance floor with Alice and suddenly they were surrounded by the typical assortment of men on the prowl. Bella went through the motions trying very hard for Alice to have a good time the way her friend intended but Bella wasn't feeling it. The lights and the beat of the music were getting to her and she just wanted to feel Edward's strong arms around her like they used to be.

Alice's eyes widened in unpleasant surprise as she looked over Bella's shoulder. "What's _he_ doing here?" She hissed.

Bella turned around to see who had gotten Alice so upset. She almost expected it to be Edward but was disappointed when she spotted her good friend Jake making his way over to them through the crowd.

"I may have mentioned you were taking me here tonight." Bella shrugged trying to keep pace with the beat of the music.

"I don't like him." Alice told her.

"What's wrong with Jake?" Bella asked her curiously.

"He looks at you like he's the wolf and you're the sheep. "

Bella rolled her eyes. "He's just a friend Alice."

"I know that and you know that but does _he _know that."

Bella thought for a moment through the haze of alcohol that settled over her brain. She hadn't told Jake she wasn't interested but she always assumed he knew. She had spoken about Edward often enough, He had to be aware.

"Hey Bella. Happy Birthday." Jake said when he finally reached them and gave Bella a hug and kiss on the cheek that lingered just a bit longer than she would have liked. Could he really be interested she thought. She hoped not.

"Thanks Jake." She said uncomfortably, replaying Alice's words in her mind.

"Wow…you're looking really hot." His eyes raked her up and down finally settling on her face. She hoped he couldn't see her blush in the darkened club. The way he leered at her reminded her of someone else and it made her shudder involuntarily with revulsion at the memory.

"Are you here with your friends?" She asked. Please say 'yes' she thought.

"Just Seth and Leah but I can ditch them for you."

"That's not necessary." Alice interrupted. "We were just leaving."

Bella stared at Alice incredulously. She knew Alice didn't really want to leave but it was apparent that Jake made her uncomfortable.

"Sorry Jake." Bella said with a shrug. "Alice insisted on having her way with me tonight."

"No problem. I'll see you soon. There's something I really need to talk to you about." He looked at her intensely and Bella could tell there was more he wanted to say. She just didn't know if she wanted to hear it.

_**Baghdad, Iraq, August, One year Ago**_

They sat in the movie theatre watching the romance of Cary Grant and Deborah Carr play out on screen. Bella didn't know if she was more enthralled with the movie she had seen a dozen times or Edward every so often nuzzling her or his hands drifting further up her thigh. She suddenly couldn't wait for the movie to be over.

When the credits finally rolled and the houselights came on Bella tried to discreetly wipe her tears.

"Are you crying?" Edward asked her slightly amused.

"That movie always gets to me. How they are supposed to meet at the top of the Empire State Building and she can't meet him because she gets hit by a car. It's so sad." Bella replied with a sniffle.

"Yes, but they do get together in the end." He reminded her gently brushing her hair back from her face.

"True love conquers all?"

"Yes it does."

"Well that's odd." Bella said confused. She had just noticed James as they got up from their seats. He must have been sitting behind them the whole time.

"What is?" Edward asked having no idea what she was referring to.

"Your friend James. He's here alone. I think he's been watching us." In fact she was sure of it. He seemed to always be around where she was lately. It was unnerving.

Edward stiffened staring at James and watched him as James' eyes directed at their entwined hands. "He's not my friend." Edward said tersely. He too had noticed James flocking around Bella. Apparently he was ignoring the warning he issued only a few weeks ago.

James nodded once in their direction as they walked past him into the darkened street.

"I don't' like him near you Bella. If he does or says anything to you I want you to tell me right away."

"Edward, you're scaring me." Bella shivered.

"Please." He implored."Just promise me."

"Okay. I promise."

Satisfied with her answer they continued on the short walk to her hotel. He didn't offer her any explanations but really what could he tell her? It was just a gut feeling he had about the man, that he intended harm but he couldn't prove it. James had done nothing but be annoying. Lurking wasn't a crime.

But he didn't want to think about James now. He only wanted to be with Bella. Their relationship had only intensified over the past weeks. He thought about her all the time. She had become his obsession, his addiction. The situation in Baghdad was becoming more intense with each passing day as the insurgents continuously tested the mettle of the US Army stationed there. New threats arose every day and Edward couldn't let another moment pass by without telling Bella how he really felt.

"I love you." He said, the confession bursting from his mouth. "I know it's not at all romantic professing my love in the middle of the street but I had to tell you. I love you."

Bella stopped mid stride and looked at him. "I'm glad you told me. I love you too." She said when she recovered from her shock enough to speak.

Joy lit his face as he bent down to kiss her. His mouth moved against hers reverently, beckoning her to open for him. She complied, her tongue reaching to meet his. He deepened the kiss cupping her buttocks bring her closer to him so she could fell his need.

"You know what I'm asking." Edward said huskily when he was finally able to tear his mouth from hers.

"Yes." She said in a whisper. She needed him too so badly she ached with it. "The answer is yes."

It was all he needed. They walked quickly back to her hotel unable to wait any longer.

His lips crashed down on hers in a display of fervent want, hunger and need as he pressed her up against the wall outside her hotel room door. Her hands fisted in his hair and he grasped her bottom to pull her closer to him letting her feel his erection that yearned for her, only for her.

"I need you now." He moaned into her mouth and took possession of her tongue again. She didn't answer in words but instead fumbled in her bag to grapple for her magnetic key card. She handed it to him.

Peeling her mouth from his onslaught, she panted. "Hurry." She said, her body quickly going up in flames. With a quick swipe and turn of the handle, Edward got the door open and still embraced they moved inside. Lips still locked, he kicked the door closed behind him and had her against the wall. Fumbling with the buttons of her blouse with trembling hands, he finally got them undone and pushed the halves of her shirt open to see the bounty inside.

Bella gripped his hips to hers as he plunged his hand inside her lacy bra to caress her breast, feel the weight of it in his palm. The onslaught of desire was too much, bound send them both up in a blaze. Edward lowered his mouth to suck on her exposed nipple, his tongue flicking back and forth over the aroused bud. Bella had to bite her lip to keep from screaming out loud. His other hand traced slowly down her side until he found the bottom of her skirt. Hiking it up, he placed his hand over mound. He could feel her hot moisture through the cotton of her panties.

With an impatient groan, Edward pushed her underwear aside and delved his fingers into her slick passage and found her core. Rhythmically, he stroked his finger up and down over her clitoris imitating the most ancient of dances. Bella's hips found a rhythm of their own as her body unconsciously sought to be filled.

"You are so wet and hot for me." Edward whispered huskily. Bella's answer was a moan. She wanted to rip his shirt off and inflict him with the same delicious torture he was subjecting her to.

"The bed." She said.

He needed no further invitation. With one last grind of his hips, he lifted her so that her legs wrapped around him and they landed gracelessly on the bed. He gazed at her intently as he kneeled looming before her, removing his shirt. She sat up letting her hands roam over his sculptured chest. Slowly, she took his nipple into her mouth. His hands tangled themselves in her hair as he threw his head back in ecstasy. When he could take no more, he lifted her face up to his again and plundered her mouth before pushing her back down on the bed.

Working quickly he removed her clothes, then his own needing the full skin to skin contact with her. He kissed his way down her body and paused when his lips met the juncture of her thighs. Then he plundered once again swirling tongue around the swollen bud of her clitoris before taking it in his mouth to suckle. He drank from her like a starving man.

Bella felt the tension building inside her ready to explode in sweet relief. He was doing epic things with his tongue and when he finally plunged it deep inside her she let loose a keening cry as she writhed on the bed. It was too much, it was not enough.

Edward could take no more. He had to be inside her or he'd burst. With one thrust he was inside her and he covered her mouth with his absorbing the scream that ripped from her. She could taste herself on his tongue and it was the most erotic thing she ever experienced. She drew her legs back to take more if him inside her as his easy strokes became thrusts. She gripped the headboard behind her to prevent it from banging against the wall.

He drove into her with a frenzy of need. This…this is what it felt like to be home, he thought. Surrounded by Bella's slick heat. Tonight he claimed her as his. With one final thrust, he groaned and his seed spilled forth so violently it shook them both.

Edward never wanted to let her go. He wanted to stay inside her forever. He rolled off her so as not to crush her with his weight but still kept her in his embrace. Bella rested her head against his chest. She could hear the furious pounding of his heart.

"Oh. My. God." She said when she could finally speak as she traced his chest lightly with her fingers.

He chuckled breathlessly curling her hair in his fingers. "I know what you mean."

Edward propped himself up on his elbow so that he could look at her. She was so beautiful in the afterglow of their lovemaking; her face still flushed from pleasure, her skin glistening. "Have I told you that I love you?" He asked with a grin.

"I believe you may have mentioned it once or twice." She replied. "And I love you."

They had fallen asleep peacefully exhausted from their exertions. Sometime later, Bella woke up to the most delicious sensations. Her back was to Edward and he had one hand cupped around her breast fondling her nipple and his other hand fondling the area between her thighs. She felt his erection throbbing against her the cheeks of her backside as he moved back and forth against her. Before she was fully awake, she was fully aroused. Bella let out a moan as Edward began kissing inside the crook of her neck.

"Now this is the way to wake up." She whispered huskily and his hand tightened on her breast.

"Mmm, I'm happy you think so." She craned her neck around so she could claim his mouth . He kissed her passionately and her legs spread open of their own accord to allow him better access. Positioning himself with one hand, he slipped easily inside her from behind and pressed her closer to him. He took up an excruciatingly slow rhythm as he cupped both of her breasts in his large hands. Bella pushed back against him, silently urging him to go faster.

"Please." She begged, her hands gripping his.

He shook his head. "Not this time. This time I want to go slow." He said nipping her earlobe emphasizing his words with a hard thrust.

She moaned in pleasure. "You're killing me Cullen." She said.

"With pleasure I hope."

"Always that."

In and out, he moved against her letting the pressure build. His hand drifted from her breast, down her stomach and found her core manipulating her clitoris with expert hands. She couldn't take it anymore. Bella pushed back against him trying to force a faster pace. He complied only because he couldn't take anymore either. His thrusts became harder, more pronounced until they were both panting and moaning.

"Oh God, Bella!" He nearly shouted as he came to his release. He wanted to marry this woman. If he didn't know it before and he did, he certainly knew it now. But he couldn't ask her that now. He couldn't tie her to him like that. It would be the most selfish act he could do, not when the future was so uncertain. He wanted to though. He wanted to so badly. Another year, he thought. Just one more year and he would ask her to be his in every way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Edward Cullen and Jasper Hale's Upper East Side Penthouse New York City, Present Day**

The visit to the park had unnerved him, hell, the whole damn day had unnerved him more than he had been in his life, Edward thought as he slowly nursed a scotch. He took another swallow of the amber liquid to calm him as he fingered the photograph of him in his hand, staring at it as if somehow it would give him the answers he sought.

He closed his eyes and the face of an angel came to him, the angel with the mahogany hair and haunted chocolate brown eyes. He knew her, he had to, somehow. But the memory wouldn't come. He recognized that she was important to him to the depths of his very soul but she ran off before he could ask her how or why.

"Who are you angel?" Edward whispered to himself resting his head back on the cushions of the couch. His head was starting to hurt. The doctors told him that this would happen if he tried to force himself to recall the time that was missing. He was past the point of caring. Let the pain come if it meant he would feel whole again. He couldn't live this half-life anymore not when there was a whole month blacked out from his mind.

"Damnit, why can't I remember!" Edward yelled out loud throwing the glass of scotch across the room. It crashed against the wall in a shattered mess, its contents spilling down the wall. The pain came full force then causing him to drop the picture and grasp his head in agony.

He forced himself to calm taking deep, meditating breaths. Destroying the apartment wasn't going to help him. Through the haze of pain, he managed to make his way to the bathroom to retrieve the painkillers that would dissolve his headache. He hated relying on the damn things but the pain was too intense to ignore this time.

Edward closed his eyes as he sat back on the couch and waited for the medication to kick in. He hated this weakness that forced him to rely on pills. Most of the time he didn't even use them but now was one of those times when he had to.

The click in the lock to the front door alerted him that Jasper was home.

Eyes still closed he called out to his brother. "There's glass on the rug. I'll clean it when my head is feeling better."

Jasper raised his eyebrow and looked around the room for the mess his brother was referring to. He spotted the shattered glass along with it's contents that had marred the wall.

"Rough day?" Jasper questioned.

"You could say that."

"Want to tell me about it?" Jasper said coming to sit next to him.

Edward sat up and looked at his brother. Should he tell his brother about the girl, about hearing part of a conversation that existed only in his head, about trying to force the memories, about his meltdown when they wouldn't come?

"No, not really." Edward finally answered him.

He heard his brother sigh. "It's obviously upsetting you, whatever it is. It might make you feel better to talk about it."

"I'm just frustrated. It's the same old story. Nothing you haven't heard before." Edward hoped that Jasper wouldn't recognize it for the blatant lie it was. Unfortunately his brother was unusually perceptive.

"Really?" Jasper said disbelievingly. "I don't buy it."

"So how was your date with Alice?"

Jasper smiled. "Great but don't try and change the subject. You're not getting off the hook that easily."

"A guy can hope." Edward shrugged. "But honestly, I am not at the top of my game right now. Can we discuss this later? I need to go lie down."

"Go ahead. I'll clean up your mess."

Edward slowly got up trying to keep the room from spinning around him and made his way to his bedroom to lie in the dark, peaceful silence.

_**Baghdad, Iraq, Early September, One year Ago**_

He woke her with soft tender kisses to the back of her neck. He had already gotten up and dressed in the clothes he had been wearing the previous evening. She rolled over to face him, her eyes opening slowly.

"Mmm, what time is it?" Bella asked Edward as she languidly stretched her arms above her head.

Edward smiled down at her lovingly caressing her cheek. "About 4:30. I have to go but I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye ."

"I suppose I have to wake up as well." She said sitting up and tossing the covers from her to reveal her naked form.

Edward eyed her appreciatively groaned wanting nothing more than to crawl back into bed with her and stay there all day. "You are too delectable for your own good." He said before bringing his mouth to hers to kiss her deeply. She returned the kiss without hesitation.

"Where are you off to today?" He asked her when they finally separated. He tried to stifle the fear he had every time he thought of her going off into the violent realms without him. So much could happen out there and he dreaded the very real possibility that she could be harmed in anyway.

"We're headed into the northern sector today. My boss, Sam, wants us to venture more into the fray of the action." Bell suppress a shudder trying very hard not to let Edward know just how anxious she was at the prospect of being literally in the midst of things. She knew how he worried and she didn't want to add to his ever growing concern.

"Just be careful." He told her, alarm rising through him. He had no right to tell her not to go. It was her job after all but all he wanted to do was chain her to his side where he could make sure that no harm could ever touch her.

"Always." She noticed his brows were furrowed with worry. "Hey" she said cupping his cheek. "Nothing is going to happen to me. I promise." She knew she shouldn't make promises she didn't know if she would be able to keep but he looked so worried she just wanted to allay his fears.

"I'm holding you to that. I love you too much bear anything happening. I don't think I could take it." He knew his words to be true. If she was taken from him, he didn't know if he could live through that, he didn't even know if he wanted to.

"I love you too."

Edward walked towards the mess hall silently with his friend Seth reflecting on the evening before. It had been such a magical night, like many of those spent with Bella had been. She was the other half of his soul.

"Does she taste as good as she smells? I look forward to finding out." James said with a knowing sneer coming up behind him. Before Edward had a chance to lunge at him and beat him to a bloody pulp, Seth was restraining him.

"Don't let him get to you. You'll lose all your privileges for attacking another officer. You couldn't see Bella then." Seth told him as Edward was struggling to break his hold on him.

The thought that he would be reprimanded so he could no longer see Bella was the only thing that could stop him from shaking Seth loose and pummel James to the ground.

"You will not go near her." Edward growled.

"We shall see." James was unfazed by Edward's implied threat.

"Just shut your ass James. I won't hold him back if you don't" Seth ordered.

"I'm not afraid of Cullen" He said walking past them down the hallway.

"He should be." Edward said when Seth finally let him go.

"Don't let him get to you man. He knows how to press you buttons."

"He's doing a good job of it too." The thought of James anywhere near Bella made his skin crawl and the fact that he wasn't able to be with Bella during the day made it worse. He knew James was out there in the field with Bella. She had told him so but had made no mention of him acting inappropriately. She probably wouldn't mention it if he did however. He knew Bella well enough to know she would not want to be the cause of any in-fighting.

"Pull it together Edward. He won't touch her. There's too many of us around for him to risk it."

Edward nodded. There was truth to what Seth was telling him but it didn't stop his gut from clenching at the possibilities.

_**Later that Day**_

It had been a long, hot day in the regions right outside of Baghdad. Anticipation of oncoming attacks filled the air until it was a living, palpable thing. Adrenaline fueled the blood of both soldiers and war correspondents alike. Bella was no exception. But it had been eerily quiet, so much so the soldiers had been growing steadily anxious as the day wore on. Bella felt it was the calm before the storm. Something was brewing but no one had any intel as to what exactly that was.

She was bone weary by the time they left for the long bumpy ride back. Angela and Ben opted for going directly to the base canteen. Bella decided to meet them there. All she wanted to do was relax her muscles in a long hot bath at the hotel before venturing out again to meet them. Edward would be joining them later when he was relieved from his duties for the day.

Bella sunk into the steamy water letting it lap over her body and put her Ipod on to listen to classical Debussy. It was only after she realized her skin was starting to prune that she decided to get out. She dried off and put on the thick terry cloth robe the hotel had provided. It was a small luxury but she would take what she could get.

Her room had gotten dark when she emerged from the bathroom and Bella gathered that she was soaking for longer than she intended. Towel drying her hair, she went to reach for the light switch when the lamp in the corner of her room went on. Startled she turned around to see James sitting in a chair, his face harsh in his expression. He was twirling her underwear around his fingers. He smiled at her in a frightening way before bringing her panties to his face and inhaling deeply. Despite her paralyzing fear, Bella couldn't help the look of disgust that crossed her features. She gripped her robe more tightly around her.

"Get out." She said through gritted teeth when she could finally form words.

He shook his head slowly rising from the chair, approaching her. Instinctively, Bella backed up. "Not until I get what I came for."

She didn't ask him what that was. She was afraid she already knew.

"You're getting nothing from me."

"I don't think you have a choice."

She turned to run but he grabbed her by the belt of the robe and yanked her against him holding her in a head lock with his a. She arm around her neck. Bella grabbed at his arm trying to pull him off as his other hand cupped her breast.

"Please." She pleaded, tears coming to her eyes. This could not be happening. There was no way she was going to let him do this thing to her. She resolved to die trying.

"I love a woman who begs."

She struggled then, her nails raking down his arm. He only tightened his hold causing her to gasp for air at the grip he had on her neck. She reached her arm up then and raked her nails down his face.

"You bitch" he said throwing her away from him. Bella stumbled and almost fell but he caught her, crushing her to him so her arms were effectively trapped between them.

"Edward is going to kill you." Bella spat angrily.

"He can't save you know darlin'"

He was right, Bella thought. Edward couldn't save her but she could save herself. With her arms useless in front of her and her legs unable to get the right leverage, Bella did the only thing she could do. She head butted him, hard. Though the pain of it made her dizzy, it was enough for him to release her. She went to run for the door but he caught her again, this time punching her in the face. She fought the darkness threatening to overtake her. This time Bella could use her legs though. Using what was left of her strength, she delivered a hard kick to his diaphragm, enough to render him momentarily breathless. She moved quickly then, running out of her room to the elevator bank.

"C'mon, c'mon." she begging, praying the elevator doors would open. She didn't have much time before James would recover and he would be after her again.

Feeling like she had no other choice, Bella ran to the stairwell and down the stairs hoping to make it into the lobby where she would be offered some protection. She was almost there when suddenly there was an explosion of sound coming from somewhere above her and the whole building shook with the force of it. Unable to catch herself, Bella tumbled down the stairs. She screamed in pain when she heard the resounding crack of bone. Her arm was broken.

The hotel was bombed, Bella thought dazedly. Stunned and unable to move, Bella did not know how long she lay there as black smoke filled the hallway, choking her making her gasp for air and debris came raining down on her. She heard the screaming and wished she could find her voice to scream herself.

A chunk of the wall fell and hit her in the head. Bella's last thought before could no longer cling to consciousness was that she had broken her promise to Edward.

Seth choked back the smoke as he ran up one of the stairwells of the hotel. As one of the first responders on the scene, he wanted to help in any way he could to make sure everyone could make it out before the fires consumed the whole building. Many guests ran by him as he made his way up. Most appeared able to get out themselves although they were highly terrorized. An older gentleman stopped him during his descent gripping his arm.

"There's a woman on the tenth floor landing. She's unconscious and badly injured. I'm sorry I just couldn't lift her." He sounded panicked.

"Thank you sir." Seth told him. Covering his mouth and nose with his shirt sleeve he fought his way up the stairs to rescue the woman the man had mentioned.

He spotted her unconscious and bleeding from a head wound and immediately checked for a pulse. It was weak and thread but it was there. He couldn't tell if it was the smoke that rendered her unconscious or the head injury. Seth hadn't seen her face yet but he could tell from the way her arm rested that it was broken as well.

Mindful of her broken arm, he turned her over and gasped when he saw her bruised and swollen face.

"My God. Bella?" Swiftly he lifted her over his shoulder all the while praying that she would make it out of this alive. If she didn't, Seth knew that Edward would be destroyed.

Edward sat in the communications operations room staring at the computers in front of him when Cody came running in.

"Edward, we have go now! The Al Rasheed has been bombed."

Bella! Edward thought horrified getting up and running with Cody to get to transportation off the base. It was late in the day and he prayed that she wasn't in the hotel as he feared she might be. He never prayed so hard in his life as they sped through the streets. He could see the smoke billowing as they got closer to their destination. About a mile before they reached the hotel, traffic was at a standstill. There was no way to get through. Abandoning the vehicle Cody and Edward ran through the streets towards the chaos that ensued.

Edward spotted Angela and Ben in the fray staring up at the hotel with horrified expressions on their faces.

"Please say Bella is with you." He begged them, glancing around to see id Bella was anywhere near. It was then that he could see the tears streaming down Angela's face as she shook her head. Please God, No he thought, his guts clenching in absolute fear and trepidation.

"Bella went back to the hotel to take a bath. She was supposed to meet us." Ben said when Angela couldn't speak.

Edward didn't need to hear anymore, he ran full tilt practically knocking over anyone that stood in his way.

Crowds of hotel guests and ambulances littered the street in front of the hotel.

"BELLA! BELLA!" Edward shouted looking at every woman with long brown hair, fervently praying that Bella, his one and only love managed to get out unscathed.

No one answered him back. The more he searched, the more frantic he became. He shouted her name over and over. His voice was becoming hoarse and tears ran down his cheeks but he didn't stop. He couldn't. Not until he found her.

Edward looked up at the fiery mass that was once the one of the most luxurious hotels in the city. The top half of the hotel was destroyed. That was the half that Bella's room was located.

"BELLA!" he shouted with renewed intensity.

"Over here." Came a shout from somewhere in the distance. Edward ran towards the voice like it was his life line. He saw Seth carrying Bella over his shoulder out of the building. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed Bella wasn't moving and that scared the hell out of him.

"Is she…?" he asked unable to complete the question, terrified of the answer.

"She's alive…just barely…but alive." Seth answered him. Edward exhaled the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"We need help over here." Edward called out to any medic that would listen as Seth lay Bella gently on the ground far enough away from the building to escape any falling debris.

Edward collapsed on his knees beside her, sending a prayer of thanks to the heavens. He tore at his shirt to remove a piece to press in against Bella's head where her wound was still bleeding.

"Her arm's broken too." Seth told him. Edward nearly howled in rage as he looked over Bella's injuries, some of which he realized didn't match with injured that would occur with an explosion; the swollen jaw and her neck looked red and raw almost like she was strangled. She was still in her robe, he noticed. She must have just gotten out of the bath and ran to the stairs as soon as she heard the explosion. Good girl, he thought, thankful she didn't linger in her room.

"Bella." He said kissing her forehead. "Bella, you need to wake up now. Come on angel. You're scaring me. Please open your beautiful eyes for me honey." She wasn't waking, gave no inclination that she heard him at all. "Bella, please, please, baby." His sobs shook his frame as he begged her to awaken.

Cody caught up with them just as the EMT's had placed an oxygen mask on Bella and were lifting her gurney into the ambulance. Edward was following them into the vehicle when Cody grabbed his arm. Edward looked at him with such stark, naked pain in his eyes that he let go of him immediately.

"Edward, we have to help out here." Cody told him.

Edward gave him a look that would brook no argument. "I'm going with Bella." He would face any consequences and reprimands for his actions later. Right now his only priority was being with Bella. He would not be able to hold on to his sanity otherwise and right now there wasn't much left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella Swan &b Alice Brandon's SoHo Apartment September 14 Present Day**

Bella grudgingly opened her eyes trying to ignore the pounding against her skull. She waited until the room stopped spinning before pushing back the covers and attempted to get out of bed. The sunlight streaming through her windows told her it had been daylight for hours. Last night she and Alice took drinking to epic proportions, so much so that much of the evening was a blur.

She padded across the carpet out of her room and walked towards the kitchen where she could smell fresh coffee brewing.

"You look how I feel." Alice said in the sort of voice that came from smoking too many cigarettes. Funny, Bella thought, Alice doesn't smoke.

"Ditto." Bella answered looking over her best friend's appearance. Alice sat at the table dressed her in red silk kimono robe wearing her large Jackie O like sunglasses, her short brunette hair going in all different directions. She was practically slumped over her coffee with one hand resting against her forehead

Bella joined her at the table after pouring herself a cup of the strong brew in her "I'm a Journalist, I Need a Drink" coffee mug. The irony didn't escape her. She sat there staring at the steam rising from her mug before taking a substantial swallow and waited for the jolt of caffeine to hit her bloodstream.

"So what exactly happened last night?" She asked Alice hoping she would have an answer.

Instead Alice gave a weary groan. "I don't remember anything past the 4th Patron shot. I was hoping you could tell me."

"Everything is hazy. How did we even get home?"

"Cab, I think. I remember yellow." Her brows furrowed in thought. "I think your _friend_ Jacob hailed us the cab." She scowled.

"Why do you say it like that?" Bella was curious. She knew Alice didn't like Jacob but at least he made sure they got home safely.

"I recall having to pull him off of you last night. You were well into your cups before I was. There was some dirty dancing going on…well he was trying to dirty dance with you, you flopped around like a guppy out of water."

Bella grimaced at the image. She certainly didn't recall that. "He took advantage of me?" Bella asked appalled.

"You could say that." Alice laughed derisively. "You were being all depressed about Mr. Wonderful and he came over and just plucked you out of your seat, big oaf that he is and had you on the dance floor. Mopey is not a good look on you, by the way"

Bella ignored the comment. "Oh. What happened after that?" Bella wasn't too sure she wanted to know but she had to ask. She did remember going from angry at Edward, to depressed, to being angry again and so forth. The alcohol only magnified the intensity of her emotions. She should have listened to her initial instinct and not gone out for the evening. Now all she had to show for it was a migraine, a nauseous stomach and sallow skin.

"I don't know. That's where it begins to get hazy. I called for another round of shots and whammo…nothing. Although, I may have made a drunk love phone call to Jazz but I'm not too sure about it. I do remember _thinking_ about doing it however."

"We're getting too old for this Alice."

Instead of agreeing, Alice looked indignant. "Bite your tongue, missy. We're not even 30 yet."

"Alice, I haven't felt this bad since I was nearly blown up a year ago." Bella said absently rubbing the scar just below her hair line.

The loud ringing of the phone broke into their conversation.

"It's Jacob." Bella said grimacing looking at the number displayed on the caller ID.

"Don't answer it."

"I have to. He'll want to make sure we got home okay."

"So?" Alice said still unconvinced that picking up the phone was a good idea.

"If I don't answer he'll just come over thinking something happened."

"You're right. Pick it up." Alice said folding her arms on the table and laying her head to rest on them.

"Hi Jake." Bella said into the phone.

"You made it home alive, I see." He said cheerfully.

"Yeah, thanks for the cab."

"No problem. You guys were pretty hammered."

Bella thought back to what Alice had told her about the night before and wanted to clear up any misconceptions Jake may have about their relationship. She hoped she hadn't been leading him on in anyway because she had been so upset.

"Uh, Jake about last night…You're right I was pretty drunk. I hope I wasn't giving you mixed signals or anything. I didn't want to give you the impression that there is something more between us than there actually is."

There was a pause on the other end of the line and Bella suddenly worried that maybe he _did_ think there was a chance for them.

"Hey, no worries. I'm not into being rebound guy." He was still cheerful but this time his tone sounded false. Maybe she was just being paranoid.

"Good, that's good." Bella said relieved.

"When you finally come to me, and you will, it'll be because you want to be there not because you're trying to get over someone else." He sounded so convinced, that it actually would happen. Bella didn't want to give him false hope so she decided to nip it in the bud right then.

"That won't happen, Jake." She told him softly. "You're my friend, a _good_ friend but that's all."

There was another awkward silence and Bella bit her lip waiting for him to speak. "It's okay Bells. I can be optimistic enough for the both of us."

"But…" Her words were interrupted by a dial tone. He hung up. Bella put the phone back on the receiver with a frown on her face.

"Well that sounded interesting." Alice mumbled through her arms.

"I think maybe you were right about Jacob." Bella told her still not wanting to fully believe what she had just heard from Jacob himself.

"I knew it." She said finally perking her head up to give Bella a knowing grin. "I'm never wrong about these things. I still don't like him though. He's a bad choice for you"

"I don't think I'll be ready to make that sort of choice for a long while…if ever."

Alice frowned at her friend. "Mr. Wonderful better pray I never see him. I might just kick his as for fucking you over so royally."

Bella raised her coffee mug in a mock toast. "I hear that sister." But she didn't really feel the levity of those words. As much as she would like it to be, her love wasn't like a light switch that could easily be turned off. How could she have been so wrong about him…about them? Was it really just a case of if it's too good to be true it probably is?

The phone rang again. This time it was Angela.

"Happy belated Birthday Bella!"

"Thanks Ange. So how are Ben and little Tyler doing?" Bella tried to sound interested through the hammering that was still going on inside her skull.

"Just great." Angela gushed, the happiness of new motherhood obvious in her tone. "Ben taking family leave with me has been a Godsend. I'm already so attached to the little guy, Tyler not Ben." She laughed. "I don't know if I want to go back to work in 3 months. I may just be one of those stay at home moms I used to make fun of."

"You would make a wonderful stay at home mom." Bella told her realizing it was the truth. If there was anyone made for motherhood, it was Angela.." And I promise I'll stop over soon, maybe baby sit while you and Ben go out or take a nap"

"I think I'll take you up on that at least about the nap….so Bella are you going to spill or am I going to have to drag the information out of you?"

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked her confused. Did the alcohol fry that many brain cells last night?

"I was going to call you yesterday but I figured you'd be occupied. So how did it go? Did Edward propose? Is he there with you?" Angela fired off the questions so quickly Bella's head started to reel.

Bella blinked back the tears that rose to her eyes. She had hoped that with a new baby, Angela would have forgotten about her planned reunion with Edward but it wasn't to be.

"Lousy. No and No." Bella replied and could almost feel the smile leave Angela's face.

"What do you mean? Wasn't he there?"

"He was there." Bella said curtly. "That was one of the things he didn't forget."

"I'm confused."

"That makes two of us." Bella said with a snort.

"No, really Bella. What do you mean?"

"Cary Grant didn't remember his Deborah Carr, that's what I mean. He didn't know who I was Angela. I walked right up to him and he didn't know who I was." Bella whispered brokenly, the words torn out of her like her heart had been.

"But that makes no sense."

"Regardless if it makes no sense or not, that's what happened."

"I refuse to believe it." Angela said determinedly. "Let's think about this for a second, Okay?. Edward loves you. I know he does. No one looks at someone the way he did you and not love them. "

"It wouldn't be the first time a girl was fooled by empty promises and a well executed seduction."

"That's ridiculous Bella. If that were the case, what was he doing at your meeting spot on the exact date and time you planned?"

Angela posed a question that Bella never thought about but she refused to live on false hope. "I don't know" Bella admitted.

"Well that's the millions dollar question, isn't it? Look I'm not saying I'm right but just think about it."

Bella heard the soft newborn cries in the background. "I'll let you go. You sound busy." Bella told her. Her head started to pound again and all she wanted to do was get off the phone.

"Okay but call me later. Seriously Bella. I know I'm right about this."

Bella hung up the phone more confused than ever.

**Ibn Sina Hospital Baghdad Iraq September 1 year Ago**

To say the emergency room was complete chaos as victims from the explosion of the hotel were being brought in faster than the staff could accommodate was an understatement. Edward watched as the nurses wheeled Bella into a closed off partition to be examined. He had tried to follow, needing to be with her but one of the nurses halted him in his tracks.

"Lieutenant, you can't go back there."

"But…"

"I'm sorry sir. A doctor will come to speak with you as soon as he is able. As you can see we're quite busy."

Awkwardly, he nodded raking his hands through his hair. He wouldn't follow but he would stay close, just in case. Her wounds didn't seem to be life threatening but with head injuries one could never be sure. Finding the nearest empty space of wall he leaned against it watching the sheer pandemonium surrounding him, his only thoughts were about his beautiful girl lying broken down the hall.

Angela and Ben ran into the emergency room stopping at the nurse's reception area to try to find out what happened to their friend. The nurse barely gave them a glance but noticed the press passes hanging around their necks that they hadn't taken off yet.

"No reporters now. Can't you see we're in the middle of a crisis? Come back later if you want your story." The nurse sneered at them.

"We're not here in a professional capacity. This is strictly personal. Our friend was brought here." Ben told her.

The nurse was immediately apologetic. "I'm sorry. If she was just brought in she might not be in the system yet. What is her name?"

"Bella..uh…Isabella Swan." Angela answered her.

After a few quick key strokes on her computer the nurse shook her head. "Just as I thought…not in yet. Wait? Isabella Swan?" She asked suddenly remembered the tortured looking soldier that had accompanied the woman on the gurney. She only recalled him because she thought he looked so stricken when the girl was taken away from him and he wasn't allowed to follow. "A soldier was with her when she was brought in…She was taken to Emergency Cube 121. But a doctor will be examining her soon. The young man is over there against the wall if you want to wait with him. He looks like he could use a friend." She pointed at Edward.

Ben and Angela turned to look at him registering the blood stains on his uniform trying very hard not to gasp in shock. They made their way over to him taking care not to startle him. He looked like he was in another world.

"Edward?" Angela asked softly placing a comforting hand on his arm.

His angst ridden eyes shot to her shocked ones so suddenly she backed off a little.

Looking at Bella's concerned friends, his face crumpled.

"So close…I came so close to losing her." He wept covering his face in his hands, his whole frame shaking with the force of his sobs.

"She'll be alright though, won't she?" Ben asked him getting the words out over the hard lump that formed in his throat. Edward looked so distraught Ben didn't know what to think.

He took his hands from his face to answer them. "She will be…she has to be." He looked confused for a second. "But that's not what you're asking, is it?"Ben and Angela both shook their heads in negation. Edward let out a deep breath. "As far as I know they are examining her or will be soon. I do know she has a broken arm and a head wound. As for anything else, I can't be sure." He didn't want to tell them how badly she looked or how much she was bleeding. They were scared enough as it was.

"She'll be fine." Angela said with forced optimism."Bella is a survivor."

Edward feigned a smile. "Yes…she is. Isn't she?"

Three hours later they were still waiting, giving up standing and pacing to sitting on the floor, each with a Styrofoam cup of coffee in their hands. In the first hour of waiting, Edward had asked about Bella's condition every 10 minutes. In the second hour he asked every 20 minutes. He received the same answer every time. That he would just have to wait. Edward was tired of waiting.

Finally, an exhausted looking doctor walked up to them. Edward noted that he was American and was grateful for that small favor. They all got up and faced the doctor waiting with baited breath on the news of Bella's condition.

"Are you here for Isabella Swan?" He asked them.

"We are." Came Edwards curt reply.

"And your relationships to her are?"

Edward was confused by the question. Why couldn't he just tell them what they wanted to know and get back to saving lives so he could see his Bella.

"We're her friends and colleagues." Ben answered him pointing to Angela and then himself.

"I'm her future husband" Edward told him even though it wasn't the truth yet. Using the term boyfriend didn't fit, not when they were so much more than that. And he would be able to get more information from the doctor. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Angela's eyes widen in surprise. He gave a slight almost imperceptible shake of his head to let her know he only said that for the doctor's benefit although he did plan to make it the truth someday.

"I'm Dr. Gerandy. Please let's go somewhere we can talk more privately." He told them as he surveyed the crowds that still littered the emergency room. They followed him down a corridor looking nervously at each other.

The doctor stopped in a deep doorway and turned to them with a sigh. "We've had to call in the police about Ms. Swan's case." He told them.

"Police? Why?" Angela asked worriedly.

"While many of her injuries look like they did occur in the explosion, some of them are not conducive to what would occur in such a blast."

"What exactly _are _her injuries, Doctor?" Edward asked, the impatience showing in his voice.

"From the blast, she has suffered from smoke inhalation. We are giving her oxygen for that. A broken arm, which we set and a severe head concussion due to what we presume was a falling object from the explosion. We had to give her 15 stitches to close the gash on her hair line. There should be only minimal scaring. She is a very lucky young woman. There was no internal bleeding that we could find."

"And the others?" Edward said through gritted teeth his fists clenching at his sides. He felt a churning in his gut. Something was not right.

"The other injuries indicate a physical attack." Edward let out a hiss but did not interrupt. "She has contusions in the shape of finger prints on her upper arms and slight bruising and chafing on her throat. Upon further inspection we found a bruised larynx which is indicative of attempted strangulation. We ordered a rape kit and the good news is we found no evidence of forced vaginal entry. So it looks like the attack was not of a sexual nature or at least it hadn't gone that far yet. We also found evidence of skin tissue and blood under her fingernails which we removed and sent to a DNA lab for identification. It looks like she scratched the hell out of her attacker. Which is a good thing for the police. It'll make finding the culprit a lot easier."

But Edward knew who it was already. And when he found him he would kill him. He tried to fight the rage that was building in him all through the doctor's explanation but it was almost out of his control. He felt sick inside. He hadn't protected her. She was nearly raped and could have died because he failed to keep her safe.

"How is she now?" Ben asked, his voice breaking into Edward's thoughts.

"She is unconscious, still. I don't have an estimate as to when she will awaken but it will probably be awhile. Besides the head wound, she is also heavily sedated. We've admitted her and she is located in ICU because she does have a severe head injury." He paused as he allowed the information to sink in. "Would you like to see her now?"

Edward nodded mutely. Nothing could keep him away. Not the doctors, not the police, not even his duty to his country and fellow military.

"The police will want to question all 3 of you of course." Doctor Gerandy informed them when they reached the door to Bella's room.

Edward didn't expect anything less. Let the police question him. He had nothing to hide.

"We'll talk to them first. You go see Bella." Angela told him.

Edward gave her a single nod, still not trusting his voice to speak. The center of his world was behind this door and he felt an almost gravitational force pulling him towards it.

She was so pale, so fragile lying there hooked up to so many tubes and machines, he noted as he slowly walked over to her. It almost didn't seem real. Her face was nearly the same color white as the gauze on her forehead. He gave a brief glance to the machines that monitored her vitals. Listening to the steady beeping of the heart monitor gave him small comfort. She was alive and still in his world. He sat down on the chair next to her bed and took her good hand in his. At first he could only stare at her, watch the shallow rise and fall of her chest. She was so still, such a vast difference from the vital woman who had become the most significant part of his existence.

"I almost lost you today." He whispered to her rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of her hand hoping his touch and his voice would register in her unconscious mind. "I don't know what I would have done if that happened."

He smoothed the hair on her head taking care not to touch the wound on her scalp. The beeping on the EKG sped up and he knew she could sense him with her.

"You know I am here, don't you. Even lying so still, your heart calls out to mine. "His voice broke but he continued on. "I told a little white lie to the doctor and I am sure you would disapprove knowing how adverse to deceit you are. I told him I was your future husband. It is not completely untrue. I just haven't asked _you_ yet. But I will. When my tour of duty here is over, I fully intend to get down on bended knee and ask you to be my bride." Edward kissed her hand, images of Bella in a wedding gown flitted through his mind before a darker picture of James attacking her assaulted his vision. He clenched his teeth and forced down the bile that had suddenly risen to his throat.

"I know who did this to you." He seethed. "And have no doubt, I will find him and he _will _pay for what he's done."

Bella's heart rate sped up even more. "I know you don't want me to seek revenge sweetheart." He told her as if she had spoken to him. He stroked her arm until her heartbeat became a regular rhythm once again. "But it will be okay. He'll never touch you again. This I swear to you. You need to just rest now and heal. They'll probably kick me out soon but I will be right here with you as much as I can be. Do not doubt that."

He sat with her awhile longer murmuring soft words of love, always touching her to reassure himself that she was here, her skin still warm with life. Too damn close, he thought. He had come too damn close to losing her. He never wanted to leave her side again even though he knew that realistically was impossible.

There was a soft knock on the door and Angela poked her head through.

"Edward, the police would like to question you now." She said sorry to interrupt such a touching scene. Her eyes went to the figure on the bed and blanched when she saw Bella. Edward saw her reaction and frowned.

"She's going to be fine. There is no other option." Edward didn't know if he was trying to convince Angela or himself. "I'll see you later, my angel." He said getting up and placing a tender kiss on her lips careful not to disrupt the oxygen tubes. He paused at the doorway to take one last look at her before he walked out of the room.

Edward leaned against the wall outside of Bella's room closing his eyes, the image of Bella being taken out of the hotel by Seth so vivid in his mind. The stark fear he felt at that moment still so close to the surface.

"Are you okay?" Angela asked him, a worried frown on her face.

Edward rubbed his teary eyes with the palms of his hands. He ignored her question in favor of one of his own. The truth was he didn't know if he was okay. "How did your interview with the police go?" He asked her to change the subject.

"Not too terrible. They estimated the time of the attack to be sometime in between five when she returned to the hotel and before the explosion happened." Angela explained taking in the expression of tension and rage in Edward's face. "You know who did this don't' you?" She asked realization dawning over her features.

"I have my suspicions." He told her not revealing anything more.

XXX

After the police questioned him and verified his alibi, he ran towards the hospital exit hell bent on finding James. If the bastard knew what was good for him he would be in hiding. Edward's fury knew no bounds. He literally ran into Cody on his way out the door.

"Whoa, Cullen. Wait I want to talk to you." Cody told him as Edward nearly pushed him aside.

"What is it, Cody? I'm kind of in a rush here."

"I can see that. I just wanted you to know that I covered for you. I told the Sarg that you were helping with crown control here. You won't get into any trouble for not being at the scene."

"Thanks man. I owe you."

"Forget it. How's Bella by the way?"

"Not good" Edward replied truthfully. "She's still unconscious. Her doctor isn't sure when she'll wake up."

"Man, I'm sorry. I know how you feel about her. So what are you doing running out of here?"

Edward debated on what to tell him. Cody was a good friend but he didn't know how he would feel about him taking down a fellow soldier. But he might be able to tell him where the bastard was.

"Have you seen James, Lieutenant Ramsey around?"

Cody paled at the mention of the name. "Of course! You don't know yet do you?"

"Know what?"

"It was the oddest thing. Lieutenant Ramsey was found dead in the stairwell landing, two flights above from where Seth rescued Bella."

Sonofabitch! Edward wanted to shout but held back. He was glad he was dead, truly. His only regret was that it wasn't by his own hand, that he wasn't able to watch the life seep out of the bastard's eyes for himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Edward Cullen and Jasper Hale's Upper East Side Penthouse New York City, September 14 Present Day**

He was dreaming, he knew he was as he looked around at his surroundings. He was back in Baghdad, in the Green Zone. This place was so familiar to him as if he had never left it but it had a surreal quality to it as if he were looking at it through a sepia lens.

The sun beat down on him and the hot wind blew sand and dirt that stuck to his bare chest.

Wait a minute, bare chest? Edward looked down at himself to discover that he was dressed as he had been when he went to bed in his apartment the night before; just a pair of blue cotton pajama pants and nothing else. How odd.

No one noticed him standing there; not the marketplace hagglers, not the American security contractors, not even his old unit that ran past him towards their old favorite watering hole. His old unit, he thought with a pang of sorrow. Weren't they all dead? But no, they were here and he was invisible to them. He wanted to call out to them, tell them he was sorry but for what he didn't know.

"Hey, Cullen, Are you coming? The celebration's this way." He heard Seth shout at him. Did he see him standing there? Didn't he think it was strange how he was dressed? Edward was about to call out to him when he heard an answering shout from somewhere behind him.

"I'll be right there!"

Edward turned around and saw himself. Himself? He wondered. But he was there, dressed in uniform. He watched as this other version of himself put something that looked like a piece of paper that he had been staring at with a bittersweet expression into his chest pocket and start to walk briskly towards the group ahead of him.

It was then that he heard it, a distinct whistling sound. He knew that sound, knew what it meant and he was terrified of it. Just as he was about to shout to the group to tell them to run, he saw his other self dart forward.

"Incoming!" His dream self shouted with a horror stricken expression.

Before anyone had a chance to process the information, it hit. A rocket flew in from the sky and hit the building close to where they were standing. Edward watched himself as he was thrown backward from the blast into a nearby car. He felt the heat and the wind from the explosion. He heard the screams of the wounded, smelled the burning flesh and watched the pandemonium as it ensued in the aftermath.

"NO!" He screamed.

His eyes opened suddenly and he was back in his bed in the safety of his apartment breathing heavily and covered in a cold sweat. He sat up swiftly rubbing the perspiration and tears from his face. Was it just a dream or was it something more? Could it have been a memory? It was so real, Edward was suddenly sure that it was.

He scrubbed his face with his hands trying to calm himself down as he thought if the events in the "dream". His emotions ran the extreme from elation that he finally had a memory recovered to overwhelming sadness at reliving the loss of his friends in such vivid clarity.

Jasper ran in the room not even bothering to knock.

"I heard you yell out. Are you okay?" He asked looking at his brother, concerned.

"I think… I just remembered something." Edward admitted still in shock.

Jasper smiled. "That's great!"

Edward shook his head. "Not great…I remembered the explosion that injured me in the first place. It was horrible Jasper. All dead and I couldn't do anything to stop it." That fateful day was becoming so clear to him now. Jasper remained silent waiting for him to continue. "We were going to celebrate. A few of us were going home the next day and we were going to give them a farewell party. Their duty was over and they were finally going home…They never made it." Edward laughed bitterly thinking of the irony. It was also _his_ last day with those troops before he was scheduled to move on to a special ops security assignment that would put him incommunicado with anyone save for specially authorized military personnel until his service was done. A fact he didn't let Jasper in on.

"I'm sorry Edward…Even though you may not think so now…it _is_ a good thing that you remembered. Do you know what may have triggered it?"

Edward shook his head slowly then stopped as his brow furrowed and a thought popped into his head. "I went to the Empire State Building yesterday." He said slowly, confusion evident in his tone.

"I don't understand. Why would you do that?"

"I don't know." He admitted. "I felt compelled to be there. It was strange. There was this girl there…she knew me…or at least I think she did. She dropped this picture of me when I told her I didn't know who she was…then she ran off." Edward pulled the picture from the drawer in his nightstand and showed it to Jasper.

Jasper inspected the worn picture of Edward standing there in his military uniform looking down at something or someone. He looked as if he was in love. "This was taken in Iraq? Do you think this prompted your memory?"

"It's the only thing that makes sense." He didn't bother to tell his brother about the snippets of conversations he had been hearing in his head.

"And the girl?" Jasper questioned.

Edward shrugged. "I don't know. She was beautiful" he sighed, "and I felt drawn to her as if I should know who she is but it's a blank right now."

"So that's why you decided to create scotch art on the walls yesterday." Jasper said in sudden understanding.

"Yeah…well …sorry about that." He said flatly as he remembered the fit of anger he had that made him throw the glass of scotch at the wall.

"Maybe you should call dad."

Edward didn't know if it would do any good but he could see the logic in it. Maybe Carlisle would have some insight. He usually did.

"Maybe you're right. But first I need some caffeine." Edward swung his legs over the side of the bed and got up to follow his brother into their modern kitchen.

Edward couldn't get the dream/memory from his mind. To say it had shaken him was a huge understatement. So many questions circled in his head, questions he hoped he could find the answers to. After taking a last fortifying gulp of his coffee, he picked up the phone and dialed his father's cell phone hoping his father was available to talk to him and not in surgery with a patient.

Thankfully Jasper opted to give him some privacy and left the apartment with the excuse of going to the gym.

"I'll have my cell phone with me if you need me." Jasper informed him. Edward nodded silently as his brother backed out if the door.

"Dr. Cullen" His father answered the phone.

"Hi Dad."

"Edward." Carlisle said happily. "I'm glad to hear from you. How are you? How is that new big security project you're working on going? For the Volturi Corp, isn't it?"

"Dad, I think I remembered something." Edward solemnly told his father ignoring Carlisle's barrage of questions that he just fired off. He couldn't think of anything but why he called. He could tell he stunned his father into momentary silence with his sudden confession when he received no immediate reply.

"Tell me." Carlisle finally reacted.

Edward proceeded to tell him the details of his dream regardless of how painful it was. He even told him that in the dream he was a witness to everything, seeing everything in third person not as a participant.

"So what do you think?" Edward inquired with bated breath when he finished.

"Hmm, well the events in your dream coordinate with what I had been told. You were found unconscious on the hood of a car. The impact on the windshield is what caused your head injury and subsequently your retrograde amnesia*. So I would say that you probably did have a flashback of the memory."

"And the other thing? Why would I be watching myself, not reliving it first person?"

"Well, I'm no psychologist but I would be willing to hazard a guess that the memory may have been too painful for you to remember first hand and that your mind was instinctively shielding you as a defense mechanism."

It made sense, Edward thought. It may have been that same defense mechanism that made him have the memory loss in the first place. Regardless he was still missing the month prior to the attack but maybe this recent recollection was the break he needed to remember all the rest.

"I wonder what you were looking at so intently in your dream. If it actually existed or just a fragment of your dream state that invaded the memory." Carlisle said interrupting his thoughts. Edward had wondered that as well.

"I am not sure."

"Well there is only one way to find out. I think it's time you looked in that box. Do you still have it?"

The box! Of course. He had almost forgotten about its existence until his father brought it up again. When he first came home, he hadn't wanted to even touch it. Afraid that it would cause him more harm to try to desperately remember what his mind wouldn't let him.

"Didn't you already look through it though Dad?" He asked his father. If there was anything of import in there, surely his father would have told him by now.

Carlisle let out a deep sigh. "I wanted to…so many times after they gave it to me when you were in the hospital but I didn't. They are your personal things and I didn't want to invade your privacy…You'll tell me what you discover?"

"Yes…and Dad?"

"Yes, son"

"Thanks." Edward said swallowing past the painful lump in his throat.

"You don't need to thank me Edward. You're my son. I love you."

Edward closed his eyes after pressing the "end call" button on the phone both anticipating and dreading viewing the box's contents.

**Ibn Sina Hospital Baghdad Iraq September 1 year Ago**

The first thing she became aware of was pain. It seemed to come from everywhere, even her eyelids felt heavy with it. The second thing she became aware of were whispers; harsh angry words spoken in hushed tones somewhere to the left of her. Her ears strained to make out what was being said.

"She's been unconscious for two days…She should be awake by now." It sounded like her Edward but he was speaking so angrily. She had never heard him sound like that before. Was he talking about her?

"I understand your concern, Lieutenant Cullen, but head wounds are hard to predict. The CAT scan showed no lasting neurological damage and I am sure she will regain consciousness when she is ready."

But she was awake…at least she thought so. He sounded so infuriated and scared…scared for her. She wanted to tell him not to worry but had trouble forming the words she wanted to say.

"Edward" Bella finally croaked out willing her eyes to pry open. He stood there in the doorway with a man she presumed was a doctor if his scrubs and stethoscope were any indication. As soon as she spoke, his wide eyes turned to her and he was by her side in an instant.

"Bella" He breathed. He buried his head in the crook of her neck breathing in her scent and giving a prayer of thanks before raising his head up to look at her. She noticed he was unshaven and there were dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept in a week.

"I'm happy to see you decided to join us." The doctor said cheerfully coming into the room. "You are a very luck young lady. I'm Dr. Gerandy, by the way."

Bella nodded in silent greeting before she looked down at herself noting the cast on her arm. Lucky? Bella wanted to snort. She didn't feel very lucky. She felt like she was hit by a freight train. With her good hand she reached for her head, the place where most of the pain was coming from. Edward grasped her hand before it could reach it's destination.

"Don't. You have a bandage there." He told her not letting go of her hand.

The doctor looked into her eyes with a penlight and checked the monitors by her bedside and wrote some things down on her chart.

"How do you feel?" he asked her while taking her temperature with a temporal artery thermometer.

"Not as lucky as _you_ seem to think I should feel." She grumbled, her voice raspy and rough from the smoke inhalation

Edward would have smiled if it wasn't so clear that Bella was in a lot of pain.

"Do you remember what happened, sweetheart?" He asked her giving her some water to soothe her dry throat.

Bella took a moment to think about it. The events were hazy but she did recall. James' attack, running to escape, an explosion that knocked her down the stairs. My God, was the hotel bombed?

"Angela and Ben?" She asked anxiously, trying to sit up, hoping they weren't caught in the explosion as well.

My selfless, Bella, Edward thought easing her back down to a lying position and this time he _did _smile. "They're fine." He assured. "Just worried about you."

"Oh."

"So I take it you _do_ remember?" The doctor asked to which Bella nodded. "That's very good."

Bella tightened her grip on Edward's hand and looked at him horrified. "James…he…"

"Shh, sweetheart." Edward gently silenced her. "I know. He'll never bother you again. He's dead."

Bella found herself relaxing a little. She hated herself right then for not feeling the least bit sorry. "He didn't…you know…"

"I know that too." Edward told her soothingly trying to hide the rage from his voice. "Not that it would have changed how I feel about you if he did." He spoke the truth. It would have killed him inside and turned him into something less than human if he found out that James _did_ rape her but it would not, _could_ not change how much he loved her.

"The police will want to question you about that, when you're feeling up to it." Dr. Gerandy informed her.

Bella knew that, after all she was a police chief's daughter. The sooner she gave her statement the sooner she would be able to move on.

"So besides the obvious…what's wrong with me and how long to I have to stay here?"

Dr. Gerandy listed off her injuries in layman's terms for her making Bella grimace. Still it could have been worse. She could have died, she thought suppressing a shudder.

"You didn't answer the second part of my question?" She informed him waiting none too patiently for the answer.

"So anxious to get back to work are we?" He smiled at her. "We do want to have more tests run but if everything turns out as I expect than you'll probably be a guest at our fine establishment for a few more days. Shall I let the police know you are able to see them now?"

"Please give us fifteen minutes." Edward told him never taking his eyes off Bella.

"Of course. Take your time." He said as he walked out the door.

As soon as the doctor took his leave, Edward leaned down to give Bella a kiss that spoke of all his fear and worry. It was a desperate, hungry joining.

"God, I've missed you." He said, his voice breaking as his fingers wound themselves through her hair. "When I saw…" he gave a hard swallow. "…When I saw Seth carry you out and I couldn't tell if you were breathing or not, if you were alive or…" he paused shaking his head to clear the painful thought."… my heart nearly stopped." He bowed his head trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. "And then when I heard…" he said through gritted teeth. "When I heard you were attacked prior to the bombing, my only thought was to kill the bastard that did this to you."

A horrifying thought came to Bella as she remembers him telling him that James was dead. "You didn't…?"

Edward shook his head. "No" he said in a harsh whisper. "As much as I would have liked to, the explosion took care of that for me. He was found two flights up from where you were."

But he wanted to so badly, _still_. Even knowing she was going to be okay, his body still tensed with the need for vengeance. Bella put a steadying hand on his arm. As much as she hated to admit it, she did have one thing about James' attack to be grateful for, something Edward should be aware of before he let his hate eat him alive.

"Edward. If James hadn't attacked me, I would have stayed in my room." Bella said urgently, willing him to understand. "I would have had no need to escape down the stairs. I would've been dead."

Edward shivered just thinking about it. She was right. As much as it tortured him to admit it, she was right. Her hotel room didn't exist anymore. All it was now was just a burnt out shell with the windows blown out. She would never have survived and then where would he be? He would be lost. The tears did flow then unchecked down his cheeks. He kissed the palm of her hand in reverence and thankfulness that she was alive.

"It's okay. I'm right here." She whispered feeling his tears on her hand. Bella didn't care about the pain she was in; she just wanted to comfort him.

"I know. I just can't stop thinking about…what if you weren't?" He laughed through his sobs then. "Listen to me" Edward said wiping the salty tears from his face. "You're comforting me when I should be comforting you."

"Yeah, Cullen. You're slacking off on your boyfriend duties." Bella said with a laugh to let him know she wasn't serious.

He laughed too. "I can think of several interesting reprimands." He said with a wicked gleam in his eye.

"So can I, Edward, so can I."

XXX

_Three days later_

It had been a clusterfuck of a morning, Edward thought grudgingly. First he was forced to attend a memorial service for James Ramsey. He railed against going. The last thing he wanted to do was pay respects to a man, correction; an _animal_ that he was glad was dead. In the end there was no arguing with his sergeant.

"I understand your position, Lieutenant" Sergeant Banner told him. "But no matter what Ramsey attempted to do, he was still a patriot and a soldier and you will be attending his memorial service. Do I make myself clear?"

So he attended in his full dress uniform not even trying to look the least bit remorseful. There would be an actual funeral for him back in that states attended by his family. Let them grieve over him. He could not.

Right after the service, he was called to a meeting held by several of his sergeant's superiors. Men, who never gave him a second glance, he thought, until now. They had told him that because of his superior IT security and communication skills he was going to be shipped off to a special mission in the beginning of October, ending when his tour of duty ended, September First of the next year. He was not told where that mission would be. The bitch was he was not allowed contact with anyone outside of the military and only a select few within. That meant no contact with Bella once he left. It was a hard pill to swallow. But those were his orders. He could not refuse, nor could he disobey the command or else he would be dishonorably discharged.

He found himself at the hospital right after the meeting trying to think of ways to tell Bella the bad news. When he reached her room, he saw Angela helping Bella pack her few belongings into a small tote bag. They didn't look too happy either.

"Why so upset you two? " He said forcing a smile. "You should be happy you're getting sprung from this place."

"In more was ways than one." Angela said sarcastically.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked, the smile fading from his face.

Bella finally looked at him with a sad expression. "Sam, my boss called." She said. "He's pulling us out. Says it's too "hot" here and with me being hurt he doesn't want to risk anymore harm to his journalists."

"Or his photographers." Angela piped in pointing to the camera around her neck.

Edward felt the air whoosh out of his lungs. Here he had been upset that he only had another month with Bella. Now he was finding out it would be much less?

"When?" He forced the question out of his mouth wrapping his arms around her needing to hold her as close as possible.

"By the end of the week, possibly. Sam's making our arrangements for the flight home. I'll be going back to Forks to recuperate at my Dad's. " She sighed looking at him sadly. "We're obviously staying at a different hotel for now. Angela and Ben checked in already. In the meantime, I am under strict orders to 'take it easy'"

Edward's emotions were mixed. Selfishly, he wanted her to stay…to be able to spend as much time with her as possible but he had to admit to himself that he felt some small comfort that she would be getting out of harm's way. She would be safe, away from the danger of this area. The recent events still weighed heavily on his mind. More than once he had awoken from nightmares screaming out her name, nightmares where she didn't make it, where no one had gotten to her in time. His hold on her tightened instinctively as he gazed down at her, his eyes full of love.

A click and a blinding flash interrupted them making them turn to stare at Angela.

"Angela, what the hell?" Bella asked as her eyes tried to refocus.

Angela shrugged with a smile, her hands still on her camera. "Sorry. Occupational hazard. You two just looked so sweet looking at each other like that. I had to get a shot."

"I look like hell and you took a photo of the side with the cast." Bella moaned.

"It was either that or the side with the head bandage. Under the circumstances I would think the cast would be more flattering." Angela pointed out.

"You always look beautiful to me." Edward told Bella tenderly and paused trying to segue into telling her what he needed to say. "I have news as well." He said somberly.

"Oh?"

"Yeah." He looked at Angela. "Would you mind excusing us for a moment?" He asked her.

Angela held up her hand. "Say no more. I'm outta here. I'll wait for you down the hall, Bella. Whenever you're ready."

"Thanks."

Bella looked at Edward expectantly waiting for him to speak after Angela had left. He shoved his fingers through his hair and paced instead. She waited patiently, watching him. Finally he stopped to gaze at the window overlooking the war torn city.

"I am also leaving." He said quietly turning back to look at her reaction.

Bella didn't know what to think as the words circled in her mind. "When? Where?"

"I just got word about it this morning. It's a special assignment. I haven't gotten the official briefing yet but I was told it starts in the beginning of October. The worst of it is, they tell me no outside communication."

"For how long?"

"Until the end of my duty." Bella almost felt relieved. She had started to think he was giving her the old heave-ho. She could deal without hearing from him for 11 months if it meant he would come back to her. "You're so quiet. What are you thinking?"

"So you're not leaving…me?" She said but it came out more as a question.

Realization of what she was asking dawned over him. She thought he was telling her goodbye…for good? "No, Bella, No" he denied walking over to her and cupping her face in his hands. "You _are_ my life now. When I return, we will be together. Do not doubt that."

But a piece of her did doubt regardless of the unabashed sincerity in his eyes. "How will we find each other? I don't even know where I'll be in a year."

"I'll track you down, of course." He said almost convincingly.

"And if you can't?" She didn't even know where she would be living in a year let alone anything else. Bella didn't want to leave anything to chance, not for something this important.

He thought for a moment. They wouldn't be able to have any contact after October. It was difficult situation but not impossible. An idea came to him and he snatched on to it because it appealed to him on so many levels. "You're birthday is this month, isn't it?"

"On the 13th." She affirmed confused about where he was going with this.

"Do you remember the movie we saw? An Affair to Remember*?"

How could she forget? That was the night her and Edward finally made love. "Of course." She answered.

He smiled. "We are going to meet at the same place they were supposed to, the observation deck of the Empire State. No matter what we are doing, no matter where we are, we will meet there on your birthday, September 13, 2010 at noon." Edward said earnestly.

"Let's just hope we don't meet with the same results." Bella reminded him that that part of the movie wasn't exactly happy. The heroine was actually hit by a car on her way to the meeting place and never made it to the observation deck where he was waiting for her. She ended up paralyzed and didn't want him to see her like that. It was only until a chance meeting at a show that they found each other again.

"You'll just have to be very careful when crossing streets then." Edward smiled and wrapped her close once again. He placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'll have a very important question for you that day. Promise me you'll be there." He demanded.

She knew the question he was implying. She also knew he was not just asking for confirmation that she would be there but he was also asking confirmation in response to his unasked question.

"I promise."

He released the breath he didn't realize that he was holding and kissed her deeply. She opened her mouth to him and all he wanted to do was crawl deep inside her and never leave.

"Now, let's get out of here before Angela comes back and snaps another picture." Edward said with a grin when they had to come up for air.

Later that evening, both very wet and very naked, Bella leaned against Edward in the large bath tub on her new hotel room. He poured the shampoo into his hand and gently massaged it into a thick lather in her hair.

"Mmm, you have no idea how good that feels." Bella sighed happily. Originally she had balked at the idea of Edward getting in the tub with her but he insisted claiming that she wouldn't be able to wash her hair on her own, not with her arm in a soft cast. Seeing the logic in his argument and the lusty glint in his eyes, she agreed. Bella was glad she did.

He didn't answer her, just gently nipped her ear letting his tongue caress the lobe before he pulled back and rinsed her hair out. She felt a sudden burst of desire surge through her.

"You play dirty, Lieutenant." Bella said wiggling her bottom seductively against him.

He had been hard as soon as Bella took her clothes off but now he was about to teeter off the edge of control. "So do you, Miss Swan."

His good intentions flew out the window when she eased her good hand between them and cradled his balls in her hand, caressing them maddeningly. In retribution he snaked his arms around her waist to fondle her breasts, flicking his thumbs and forefingers over her over-sensitized nipples as he leaned forward to kiss the side of her neck.

Bella moaned in response unable to keep herself from grinding back against him. She was so hot and she was sure the heat wasn't coming from the steam of the water.

Edward had to touch her, feel her heat around him. Slowly he moved his hand down her waist and parted the folds of searing flesh between her legs. He slowly moved in his finger up and down over her swollen bud, reveling in the slickness he found there. He growled, his hips instinctively pushing forward to gain entry. Slow down, he thought to himself. But it felt so good, he didn't want to slow down.

As if she could hear his thoughts, Bella swiftly turned around to face him. He watched as the water sluiced down her body, between the valley of her breasts. The moisture from her arousal glistened between her legs. He couldn't help himself. He brought his hand down to her breast to suck hungrily on her wet, pink nipple, laving it with his tongue.

Bells through her head back in pleasure as her hands fisted in his hair. Dizzying waves of desire hit her as he feasted on her. Not caring about the water the was slowly starting to lap over the sides of the tub she straddled him, positioning herself over his hard erection.

"I don't want to hurt you." He whispered pulling back into awareness about what they were about to do.

"Shh" she said placing her finger over his lips. "You won't hurt me. " She rubbed herself on him letting him know she was ready. "Please." She begged.

He couldn't resist her, didn't want to. Instead he surged upward, filling her, feeling her tight sheath envelope him. She rode him slowly at first, enjoying the feel of his slick length pulsing inside of her. It became too much, too soon and he urged her to ride him harder, faster. He pumped into her, gripping her hips tight against him as he thrust up into her. Their rhythm no longer steady but fast and urgent.

"Come for me." He begged, loving the way her head tilted back, her eyes closed in ecstasy. He was fast losing control but he wanted her to climax before him.

"Don't stop." She called out panting.

"Never." He said through clenched teeth, his hips pumping faster. His fingers found their way back down in-between them. As she rode, he slid his fingers against her clitoris, caressing, flicking, rubbing.

It was all too much. Bella screamed as she felt the climaxes rip through her. Edward was not too far behind. With one final forceful thrust, he released into her, groaning as the spasms shook him. She laughed once and exhausted she leaned into his chest as his arms came around her, holding her too him. They were both breathing heavy with their exertions.

Bella didn't know how long she lay there against Edward but she felt what was left of the water fast cooling down and she was starting to shiver. She opened her eyes and glanced over the side of the tub to see giant puddles on the floor.

"I think the floor got as much of a bath as we did."

Edward looked over to the floor in question and grinned. "I think you're right."

Bella slowly got up and grabbed a towel for her and a towel for Edward. He insisted on carrying her to the bed through the puddles, not wanting her to slip. Edward got under the covers with her and held her close, kissing her hair. Knowing that he only had a few more days with her until his duty was up played heavily on his mind. But she would be safe, he told himself. She would be safe until he could hold her in his arms again. And then nothing could make him let her go ever again.

**A/N**

*Retrograde amnesia is a form of amnesia resulting from brain injury in which the individual loses memories for the time period just prior to the injury. This time period may stretch from a few minutes to several years, and typically it is worst for event which occurred just before the injury.

*An Affair to Remember 1957 - Nickie Ferrante (Cary Grant) is a rich famous bachelor. On a cruise he meets Terry McKay (Deborah Kerr) and they fall in love. He takes her to meet his grandmother and she becomes like one of the family. They both have romantic entanglements elsewhere, but they agree to meet on the top of the Empire State Building in six months if they still feel the same. Six months later, Nickie Ferrante waits for Terry, but she never arrives because she has been knocked down by a car and paralysed on her way to the rendezvous.


	7. Chapter 7

**Bella Swan & Alice Brandon's SoHo Apartment September 14 Present Day**

When the edge was finally gone off of Bella's headache, she took a long hot shower to clear the cobwebs from her mind. Ever since she came back from Iraq her life was a series of one life changing event to another. She had taken a leave of absence from the Associated Press to recover back at her Dad's in Forks and to decide what to do with her life. It was there that she had received news about the explosion and did as much searching as she could for Edward's whereabouts or condition but to no avail. Most of her time recuperating was spent on the phone arguing with hospitals or the military or on various websites looking for any information she could find. She hit road blocks on all fronts. After a while she didn't look as fervently anymore and could only pray that she would be reunited with him on the date they had chosen.

After her time in Baghdad, she no longer had the taste for being a war correspondent no matter how good she was at it. She was tired of living life out of a suitcase, never really having a place to call home. Her life had existed from one war torn country to the next. So when her leave was over, she handed in her resignation to Sam and said her goodbye's to her co-workers of five years. Bella didn't fool herself though. She still had the taste for adventure in her but decided to pursue her journalism career on U.S. soil, preferably in one city. New York was the perfect place for her so she taken Alice up on her offer to move in her large apartment with her. Alice had been glad for the company of her best friend.

She took up doing freelance work for various publications and settled nicely into her new home. On a fateful day in February, she received a phone call from a hospital back in Forks with the bad news that her dad, Charlie, he had died of a heart attack. She didn't even know he had a heart problem. He never had been particularly forthcoming in matters of his health or his emotions for that matter. Alice went with her back to Forks to assist in making the funeral arrangements. Renee, her mom hadn't been much help, not that Bella expected her to be. Renee had showed up with her current husband, Phil, shed the obligatory tears and left Bella with the task of packing up her father's things to get the house ready for sale. She always seemed to be more the parent in their relationship than her mother. She wasn't resentful, though, that's just the way it was between them.

Bella was now faced with picking up the pieces of her heart…again. She didn't know if she could recover this time, it was shattered so thoroughly. Alice wanted her to move on and Angela wanted her to be optimistic but she could do neither. She could do nothing but let the hole that burned inside her consume her while she put on a brave front and went through the motions of living for everyone around her.

Turning off the shower, cobwebs still intact, Bella got out of the shower dried herself off and got dressed.

When she emerged from the steamy bathroom she heard that Alice was on the phone. From the way the conversation sounded, she guessed that Alice was speaking to Jazz, her new boyfriend. Alice had only met him a month ago but already seemed serious. A lot can happen in a month, Bella mused bitter sweetly. She should know. Still, she couldn't help but be concerned for her friend. Alice had delved into this relationship so swiftly; she feared an outcome not unlike her own. Bella had never met him, didn't even know his full name. Alice only called him Jazz. Because of her own situation, Bella was not only curious about the man but also very protective of her friend.

"Alice, why have I never met Jazz?" Bella asked when Alice hung up the phone. He had never been to their apartment as far as she knew. They always met somewhere else; usually Alice's offices.

Alice was surprised at the question and took some time to think about the answer. "Truthfully?" she asked.

"I'd prefer that."

"I'm really sorry I have never brought him to meet you Bella. It's just so new with us and honestly I just wanted to keep him to myself for awhile." She paused and hesitated before speaking again. "Jazz and I, when we're together…well frankly we can't keep our hands off each other and being I also know what you've been going through and what you _are_ going through, I didn't want to cause you any more pain."

She meant the pain of Bella seeing the two of them together and obviously so in love. "I understand the first part." Bella said and she really did understand. When she and Edward were together it was if no one else existed. "But really Alice, you don't have to hide your relationship with Jazz from me. If your relationship is important to you, then it's important to me too."

Alice ran over to give her friend a hug. "Oh, Bella. I am so sorry if I hurt you. Of course I want you to meet Jazz and soon." She stepped back and worried her bottom lip with her teeth. "This week is difficult though. I won't even have much time to see him myself. Fashion Week, ya know. Gotta see and be seen. And he has this huge project he is working on. It might not be for a week or maybe two before I can arrange something. Dinner maybe? Perhaps he can bring one of his brothers along to even it out?"

Bella noticed that Alice was going on a tangent like she usually did when she was anxious and Bella had a feeling it had nothing to do with Jazz. "Fashion Week!" Bella exclaimed wanting to hit herself on the head for forgetting one of the most crucial weeks of Alice's career. "Of course. No wonder you have been more manic than usual." Bella grinned at her friend who playfully punched her in the arm.

"Who's calling who manic? Anyway, I fully expect you to be at my show on Wednesday. I need the moral support."

Bella mentally went through her schedule for the upcoming week and saw no conflicts. Even if there had been one, she would have re-arranged her schedule for Alice's sake. "Of course I'll be there and I am sure your designs will go over flawlessly."

**Edward Cullen and Jasper Hale's Upper East Side Penthouse New York City, September 14 Present Day**

Edward's hands trembled as he pulled the dust coated cover off the box that he had pulled from the top of his closet and hoped he wasn't putting too much faith into finding any clues to his memory in the articles within it.

As soon as he took the cover off his senses were assailed by the metallic scent of dried blood, must, sweat and dirt. He picked up the dog tags that lay on top of his old uniform and closed his eyes tracing his name and serial numbers that stood out in bold relief. He thought of all the other soldiers that died that day, that would never wear their tags in pride again. Putting the tags around his neck he moved on to the next item; his uniform. He noticed it had never been cleaned, just folded neatly into the box, blood stains still intact. His blood, his sweat. He almost gagged at the memory of how he had gotten those bloodstains. Of all the things he could have remembered that one was the memory he wished had stayed hidden.

Below the damaged uniform lay his full dress one and he tried to recall the last time he wore it. A scene came to him of a memorial service. He had been angry but not at the fact that whoever they were giving a service for was dead, angry and pleased…_James…James Ramsey. _He remembered him, didn't like him but couldn't fathom why he would have felt such satisfaction at his death. It wasn't like him.

There were other small items in the box as well; a regulation army knife, a battered mess kit and that was it. There was nothing else. Edward wanted to shout out in turmoil. Like a man possessed, he searched through the side pockets of his tattered uniform hoping for something, some clue. He remembered his dream and praying he reached into the chest pocket and felt something. Carefully, he pulled it out and let out a gasp.

_It was her! _The girl from yesterday. In the photo, she was injured; a broken arm but she was looking up at someone and there was no mistaking the look of absolute love in her eyes. The edges of the photograph were worn and a little torn but his eyes were not deceiving him. Fervently, he dug out the photograph that he had showed Jasper earlier; the one of himself that she dropped. He knew before he held the two pieces together that despite the uneven edges, they would fit together perfectly. His hands were shaking as he brought one half to the other and everything suddenly clicked into place. Tears started to stream unchecked down his face. He remembered…he remembered _everything._ Everything including the very last day he saw her, the day he got his half of the photo.

"_Happy Birthday Bella." He whispered to her as he slid the soft petals of the red rose down her cheek as she still lay in bed._

_Her chocolate brown eyes opened slowly. She languidly stretched, careful of the cast on her arm, with satisfied grin on her face. The type of grin that spoke volumes of how she felt about the previous night's lovemaking._

"_Mmm. It would be a happier birthday if I could spend it with you instead of on a plane." She reached up and pulled him down to her. He covered her mouth with his own. A rush of lust hit him and he felt the tightening of his groin. He grinded his hips against her and she opened her legs to cradle him to her._

"_We don't have much time." He groaned into her mouth._

"_We don't need much." She brought his hand down between her legs showing him that she was already ready for him. He didn't need to think after that. He thrust his tongue into her mouth at the same time he gained entry into her heat. _

_Whereas the night before it had been tender and slow, they came together this time with wild, insatiable need. It was fast, it was hard and it was exactly what they needed._

_Edward watched her from his position on the bed as she gathered the rest of her things together into the suitcase. She was such a force of nature moving about the room, double checking that she wasn't leaving anything behind that he had to smile._

"_I think you got everything Bella." He told her giving a cursory glance around the room._

_She looked at him with such a sad expression that he wanted to reach out to hold her and never let her go. "Everything except my heart. That I'm leaving with you." She told him seriously._

_Edward did go to her then. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "Just as my heart is leaving with you."_

_There was a knock on the door. "Come in." Bella said unwilling to move from his embrace._

_Angela came in the room. "Sorry Bella. We have to go. Ben's already downstairs. The car will be here in a few minutes to take us to the airport."_

_Bella briefly closed her eyes and separated from Edward's embrace. "Okay. Let's go."_

"_I'll walk you down." Edward told her grabbing her suitcase and put her laptop bag on his shoulder as she grabbed her purse._

_As they waited for the elevator to come to their floor, Angela suddenly gasped. "Oh! Before I forget." She said pulling out 2 separate pieces of paper from her bag."This goes to you and this goes to you." She said handing them halves of the photo she had taken the other day. Edward held the image of Bella and Bella held the image of Edward. Bella looked at her friend questioningly._

_Angela rolled her eyes as if the answer should be obvious. "Now you each have a picture of the other. When you meet up again a year from today you can put the two halves back together again because the two of you, you know, two halves of the whole, will be together again."_

"_You are such romantic and I love you for it." Bella said giving Angela a hug with tears in her eyes._

_With one last passionate kiss and an "I love you", Edward assisted Bella into the waiting car. She opened the window as soon as the car door closed._

"_I'll miss you like crazy." She said through her tears. "Be safe."_

_He leaned down to kiss her one more time. "You as well. Don't forget. One year from today. Empire State Building. No matter what. I'll have a very special question to ask you."_

"_I'll remember." She told him._

_He watched the car drive off until it was out of sight. It was only then that he allowed his tears to fall._

Edward didn't know how long he sat there staring at the two halves of the photo, lost in his new found memories.

"Edward?" Jasper called out coming into his room. "Jesus Edward. Didn't you hear me calling you?" He stopped short when he spotted Edward sitting there, his face wet with tears. Slowly he walked up behind him to find out what he was looking at that was causing such a reaction. What he saw was a pieced together photo of Edward with his arms around a girl.

"Who is she?" He asked.

"She is everything." He answered reverently. "I remember Jasper. I remember all of it. I remember _her_. _She_ is the one I was supposed to meet yesterday at the Empire State Building. I was going to ask her to marry me. How could I have forgotten her? She is the most important thing to me." He asked angrily at himself. He could still see her standing there with such a hurt expression on her face before she ran away. Oh God! What she must think, what she must _believe_. "Bella, my love. We will be together again." He vowed hoarsely as he traced the image of her face with his forefinger.

Jasper sat down next to his brother and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you tell me?" He asked.

And Edward did. He told him everything; about when they met, how they fell in love, the hotel bombing, James, his assignment where he would be out of contact, their pledge to meet after he got home. When he was finished Jasper gave his brother an amazed look.

"Your nightmares, Edward." He said. "You weren't screaming about bells at all. You were calling out to Bella."

Edward never remembered the nightmares he woke to a cold sweat from but knew his brother was right. "I have to call her." He said swiftly getting up. "I have to explain. I need her Jasper. More than anything or anyone I ever needed in my life."

He picked up the phone suddenly drawing a blank. The digits came to him slowly. Her work Blackberry number. It was the only one he had.

One ring, two rings, Edward's frame shook in anticipation. Three rings, four rings…no answer yet. Five rings. _"We're sorry but the number you are trying to call has been disconnected…please check…"_

Edward ended the call wanting to throw the phone across the room. "Damnit!" He shouted.

Email, he thought as he picked up his Iphone and typed in her work email address . He felt foolish for never getting her personal one but he had to work with what he had.

As few moments after he hit "send" there was a return message waiting in his inbox. With a quick prayer, he opened it up only to discover that the email address was not valid. Maybe he got it wrong. He tried every different combination of her name he could think of but kept getting the same result.

Frustrated but determined, he Googled the number for the Forks Police Department. He knew her father worked there, was the chief of police. Washington was three hours behind, he thought glancing at the clock. He would still be there, would know how he could contact Bella. Jasper watched as his brothers movements became more and more frantic but didn't stop him. If this Bella girl meant as much to Edward as he claimed, he knew Edward had to do this. Quietly he exited the room and hoped for his brother's sake that he found the answers he sought.

"Chief Swan, Please." Edward said as politely as he could into the phone when someone answered on the other end.

"I'm apologize sir but Chief Swan isn't here. I can put you on with Chief Embry if you like."

Two chiefs in one police station? Edward mentally questioned. He had never heard of such a thing. "I need to speak with Chief Swan."

There was a pregnant pause on the other end of the line and somewhere inside him Edward had a feeling of dread that started to seep into his gut.

"Um…I'm sorry. Chief Swan died last February. Are you sure you wouldn't care to speak with the new chief?"

Edward didn't answer the question but desperate, fired back with one of his own. "I'm actually trying to reach Isabella…Bella Swan. Does anyone know of her whereabouts?" He hoped for a positive answer. Bella had told him that Forks was a small town and in small towns everyone knew everyone else's business. He hoped that was still the case.

"Bella? The last time I saw her was at her Daddy's funeral but left soon after. Never said where she was off to. That girl's always going off to somewhere dangerous. Chief Swan used to fret over it all the time. No wonder he had a heart…"

Edward didn't let her finish. Forks was a dead end and he couldn't listen to the mealy-mouthed receptionist speak that way about Bella. He knew she wasn't in some remote God-forsaken place. She was in New York City only yesterday. He could only have faith that she didn't leave soon after he had unknowingly broke her heart.


	8. Chapter 8

"Look at you all gussied up this morning." Alice said eyeing Bella up and down clearly impressed with her friends wardrobe choice of the day. Bella was dressed in a white silk v-neck blouse that showed just a hint of cleavage and a black pinstripe pencil skirt; her mahogany locks were secured in a French chignon. "My keen fashions sense must be rubbing off on you." Upon further inspection however, Alice noticed the dark circles under Bella's eyes that her make-up hadn't been able to conceal.

Bella rolled her eyes and frowned as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "No one uses the term "gussied up" any more."

Alice shrugged. "So what's the occasion? You're looking pretty fancy for a Monday morning."

"I have an interview with Aro Volturi." Bella couldn't help the shudder that went through her mentioning the name. If she wasn't helping out a friend, she would have never agreed to interview the man. Pictures of him alone were enough to give her the creeps. Sure he was a patron of the arts and gave an immense amount to charity but her investigative instincts told her there was something sinister about the man and much more to the Volturi Corporation's move from Italy to New York than met the eye. But this was supposed to be a fluff piece, nothing more, nothing less. Or maybe, just maybe, Bella, she thought to herself you want to see things that aren't' there because you need to wrap your mind in something that isn't about Edward.

"Isn't he supposed to be some sort of Italian royalty?" Alice asked her.

Bella snorted. "I'm sure _he'd_ like to think so but my research suggests he just comes from very old, very wealthy aristocratic family."

"Huh. Wonder why he's setting up shop on this side of the pond?"

"Not sure but that's what I'm getting paid to find out." Fluff, Bella thought to herself, think fluff.

Bella stared up at the gargoyle laden structure that over looked Central Park. It figures, she thought as she entered the neo-gothic building. She could only imagine the price tag that went along with purchasing this prime piece of New York City real estate. What was once and exclusive apartment building was now the sole property of the Volturi Corporation.

The interior of the building was going through some modification and construction and Bella had to make her way carefully to the makeshift building security desk. She noted that there were no security computer systems in place yet when the guard found her name on the sheet of paper in front of him. He escorted her to an elevator separate from the rest and used a special key to call for the elevator car.

"Volturi Corp is the top five floors." He explained. "They kept most of the apartments in-tact."

Bella wasn't really surprised to see an attendant on the elevator to take her to the requested floor. When she reached the top she was greeted by an overly enthusiastic receptionist named Gianna. Honestly, could the woman be any more perky? Bella wondered to herself.

Bella was led into a large office only lit by the green banker's lamp that was situated on Aro's desk and a few ill scattered floor lamps. She sat in one of the two chairs available in front of the large mahogany desk that rested on a raised platform. It was obvious the seating arrangements were meant to give the person behind of desk a sense of power and dominance.

"I'll be with you momentarily. I am just finishing an email." The man behind the desk said without giving her a glance. The glow of his computer screen giving his face an eerie tint. Bella had no choice but to wait, her attention going to the various artwork that surrounded the dark wood paneled walls. Each painting seemed to depict a person in the throes of a violent end and Bella had to suppress an involuntary shiver at the macabre visions.

"There is a certain beauty in death, don't you think?" The man called Aro spoke to her in a lilting Italian accent. She shook herself out of her reverie at his words. Beauty in death?

"Not if you're the one dying." Bella couldn't stop the sarcastic words that came from her mouth but she refused to apologize.

He grinned at her letting her know he felt no offense. "But of course. You were a war correspondent, no? You have seen death in it's most grizzly forms." Bella's eyes widened at the mention that he knew of her background. He rose from his leather chair and walked gracefully over to her extending his hand. He wasn't a large man but his presence was intimidating. His dark eyes pierced through her as if he could see the innermost thoughts of her soul. "You see. I have done my research on you just as you have done your research on me. I am Aro Volturi and you are Miss Isabella Swan, I presume.

Bella got up and had no choice but to place her hand in his. Instead of the customary shake that she was used to, he kissed the back of her hand. Releasing her, he gestured with a wave of his hand that she should sit back down. His skin had felt cold and clammy to the touch but she resisted the urge to wipe her hand on her skirt to rid herself of the invisible remnants of his lips on her flesh.

"Would you like some coffee or tea?" He asked her politely.

"Tea, please. Chamomile if you have it. Thank you." Bella really wanted coffee but she didn't think the added stimulants in her system would help her nerves any. What she really wanted to do was get up and leave very swiftly telling her friend that she would be unable to conduct the interview.

"Of course." He nodded and picked up his phone. "Gianna. Can you please bring Miss Swan some chamomile tea and I'll have an espresso with a shot of anisette." Once he placed the phone back on it's receiver , he turned his sharp gaze on her once again. "Now, I understand you have some questions for me."

XXX

Edward woke up fighting the sheets that tangled themselves around his legs; an obvious testimony to his fitful sleep. In truth he hadn't slept that long after sitting what seemed like hours staring blankly at nothing after getting off the phone with the Forks PD. There was nothing more he could do that evening, no one else to try and contact in the late hours.

Without even bothering to shave, Edward showed up earlier than usual to his office. No one else was around and the quiet served to calm him. As soon as the clock on his computer changed from 8:59 to 9:00, he was on the phone dialing the corporate headquarters of the Associates Press hoping against hope that although her phone and email accounts were no longer in service, Bella was still employed there.

"Can you connect me with Isabella Swan?" Edward said to the operator when she finally picked up the phone. He heard some typing on the other end before she spoke again.

"I am sorry sir but there is no one listed by that name in our global address system."

"Are you spelling the name right ? It's I-s-a-b-e-l-l-a S-w-a-n"

"Yes sir, I have even tried alternate spellings. I can assure you she is not in our system."

Damnit, he thought to himself but he wasn't about to give up yet. "What about Ben or Angela Cheney?" He asked remembering her friends and colleagues that were with her." Please, please he begged internally as he heard typing once more.

"They are both listed as on family leave not due to return until December."

"Well is there anyone there that can tell me where Isabella Swan went when she left?" He found himself nearly yelling at the disembodied voice on the other end of the line.

"I'm sorry I can't help you." The operator said before disconnecting the call.

Edward slammed the phone down on the receiver in frustration and resisted the urge to call again. It would be a futile effort, he knew. He cursed himself for not having the forethought in getting any of Bella's personal contact information. He hadn't banked on fate intervening in such a cruel manner and now he was paying the price for his mistake.

He turned a calculating eye to his computer screen and did what he should have done the night before instead of wasting time; he Googled her name. She was a journalist, there had to be some sort of public record on her. Anything he could use to locate her. He could find her, he would find her. Any other alternative was not an option.

It took barely a second before the page filled with references to her name. There was article after article that she had written for various publications but all of them seemed to have the same generic biographical blurb.

_Isabella Swan, former war correspondent now lends her journalistic expertise to writing freelance articles for many renowned publications including Time Magazine, Newsweek, Business Week and the New York Times. Isabella Swan currently resides in New York City._

That was it, that was all he had to go on, no email address or reach number but it was a start. He dialed information only to find there was no listing for an Isabella Swan or Bella Swan anywhere in Manhattan. Reaching the point of desperation, he began to call the publications she submitted articles to in the past year.

He was in the middle of an argument with a receptionist when his brother Emmett walked into his office.

"What do you mean you have no address or reach information for her? Don't you people send her paychecks?"

After telling him that she couldn't release that information, the receptionist hung up on him leaving him to stare at the phone in frustration.

"Damnit!" He yelled, once again slamming down the phone. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands debating on what to do next. "What?" he asked of his brother finally acknowledging his presence in the room.

"Dude, what did that phone ever do to you?" Emmett asked him taking in his brother's disheveled and frazzled state. "Aren't you supposed to be headed to see Aro Volturi to give him the final presentation on the security schematics?"

Edward had forgotten all about it but he couldn't make himself care. "I actually forgot all about it," He told his brother truthfully.

"You _forgot_? Edward this is a huge deal for us and you forgot?"

"I've had a lot on my mind, Okay?" Edward responded angrily. He didn't want to launch into the gory details with Emmett, he just wanted to be left alone so he could track down Bella. "Everything's already done. You'll have to meet with him in my place."

Emmett released an exasperated sigh deciding not to push his brother when he looked like he was about to go over the edge already. "Okay, fine. But you own me big for this bro. That Aro guy weirds me out…all the Volturi brothers do."

"Fine. " Edward replied shortly "I'll owe you."

"And when I get back you're going to tell me what's going on inside that head of yours." Emmett told him in a warning tone.

With a dismissive glance, Edward turned back to his computer screen and tried to ignore the headache that was beginning to form in his head.

XXX

Bella was glad to feel the bright September sun on her skin again as she exited the Volturi offices. Never in her life had she felt so much unease as she did while interviewing the enigma that was Aro Volturi. After the meeting was over the creep even offered her a job as his P.R. writer. She tried to hide her revulsion at the thought of spending any more time with the man than she had to and declined politely of course. She walked so swiftly in her desire to put as much distance between herself and the man she just left, Bella never noticed the large man in front of her until she crashed right into him sending her and her belongings sprawling to the ground.

"Whoa. Are you okay?" The booming voice asked her.

Bella looked up shielding her eyes from the sun to see a big man with friendly eyes looming over her. She grabbed the hand he held out to her as he helped her to her feet.

"Um, yea…thanks…just really embarrassed. Sorry for bumping into you by the way" Bella answered wiping any dirt off of her skirt, her face turning a beet red. The man bent down and picked up her bag and handed it to her with an apologetic look on his face.

"I'm a big guy. I can take it. I just hope nothing of yours is broken." He said eying her laptop case which also held her recorder, the one she recorded the interview on.

"Me too. I'd hate to have to do _that_ interview over again." She mumbled under her breath. He gave her a confused look. "Sorry, just thinking out loud." She explained.

"Good I was hoping you didn't jostle your brain when you fell." He smiled at her.

She shook her head back and forth for effect and smiled back. "Nope. Everything's still in-tact."

"Alright then. Remember to be careful where you walk."

'"I will" Bella said as she continued on her way to the subway station.

As soon as Bella got home, she decided she needed to separate herself for the time being from the article she needed to write. She knew she should start on it while it was still fresh in her mind but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead, she threw on her workout clothes and went to the gym, hoping that some time on the treadmill closed off to the world with her music would relieve some of the tension in her body, not to mention the sorrow in her heart.

The gym was practically empty which was just the way she liked it. She had never been one for physical activity, always hated gym class in school and never got involved with any extracurricular sports in high school or college but since a friend had introduced her to the machine known as the treadmill, she became an addict. It was a good way to purge her mind of all the horrors she had dealt with in her news stories and right now she needed it for a more emotional purging. Even if she could only forget for a little while it would be worth it.

She put the ear buds of her Ipod in her ears and started off slow at 3 miles per hour ignoring the juiced up guys trying to hit on the gossiping girls and let herself fly. An hour later, drenched with sweat, she made her way back home and into the hot shower. Alice wasn't home, not that Bella expected her to be and she was thankful for the solace that being alone would give her. The treadmill hadn't done it's job like she wanted it to though. She kept seeing Edward everywhere and worse yet feeling him everywhere. Before she realized it, Bella had sunk down to the floor of the shower not knowing if it was the water from the faucet or her tears that caused the wetness on her face.

XXX

Edward sat at his desk that was now laden with empty coffee cups. After temporarily giving up calling news organizations only to get the same generic response he began to greedily read every word that his Bella had written since her return to the states in a futile effort to track where she had been and where she may go next. He could almost hear her voice as he read her words. Her writing was compelling, honest and detailed and though his heart nearly stopped at the danger she could have been in when he came across the article she had written exposing a large division of a drug cartel in New York, he couldn't help the surge of pride that went through him.

He was so involved with his quest, he barely registered the sound of Emmett's heavy footsteps until his brother was standing in front of him.

"If you ever make me see that creep alone again, I will personally hogtie you and carry you over my shoulder."

Edward looked up at his brother with a hint of a smile on his face. "Should I bother to ask how the meeting went then?"

"Oh, the meeting went fine" Emmett said plopping himself down on the leather sofa near Edward's desk. "We got the green light to go ahead. He was disappointed that you didn't show up though."

"I assume you made up a good excuse for me."

"Yeah, told him you had a virus." Emmett sat up straighter and gave Edward a hard look. "Now are you going to tell me what's really going on with you? You look like hell."

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't suppose Jasper told you I got my memory back last night."

"No shit! So are you going to tell me more or do I have to drag it out of you piece by piece?"

"Quite a lot happened in the month or so prior to the explosion. You see…I fell in love." Edward smiled faintly. "Bella was a war correspondent at the time we met. It was instantaneous Emmett. I never felt anything like it before. It was like we had an automatic pull to each other. I don't know how I could have forgotten her. There was an…unfortunate incident and she had to leave. She understood that we would have virtually no contact until I got home. I had a mission I was supposed to go on where I wouldn't be able to communicate with anyone. We had vowed to meet again September 13, this year…on her birthday."

"But that was yesterday."

"Yes, I realize that Captain Obvious." Edward said derisively.

"So let me guess. You didn't meet her because you didn't have your memory back at that point."

"I _did_ meet her. For some reason, maybe some subconscious thought…propelled me to be at the meeting spot. She was there…she approached me and when she realized I didn't know who she was she ran away. When I went through the box that came home with me from the hospital, there was a picture of her and I remembered everything. I have been trying to locate her ever since."

Emmett let out a low whistle. "You've been alone for so long, I knew when you finally fell you'd fall hard.."

"Bella is everything to me" Edward whispered in agreement to Emmett's statement.

"You'll find her bro."

Edward wished he had as much confidence in him as his brother did. "I hope so. I've been hitting dead ends all morning."

"You said you had a picture. Do I get to see this paragon of yours?"

Edward grinned genuinely then and pulled out the photo of her that he always kept with him now. He had taped the two halves together as they were originally intended to be. Emmett carefully took the photo that Edward handed to him and paled when he saw the girl.

"My God. I just saw her." Emmett gasped looking up at Edward with a shocked expression on his face.


	9. Chapter 9

"My God. I just saw her." Emmett gasped looking up at Edward with a shocked expression on his face.

Edward didn't know he could move so fast. One second he was standing behind his desk, the next he had catapulted himself over it, was in Emmett's face and had grabbed his brother's shirt in his fists.

"You saw her? Where? When?" Edward's hands were shaking as he gripped his brother almost needing to hold onto something to keep him steady.

Emmett leaned back from the almost feral look in his brother's eyes and held his hands up in mock surrender. "Back off dude. No one but Rosie gets this close."

Edward let go off his brother's shirt and combed his fingers through his bronze hair in a frustrated gesture. "Sorry, Em. But please, you need to tell me everything." It was a desperate plea. Had it only been yesterday he began his search? It seemed like it had been so much longer. She was out there somewhere thinking he didn't remember her, that he didn't love her and he would do anything to be able to tell her that nothing was further than the truth.

"It was on Fifth Avenue. I was on my way to meet our client and here she comes barreling down the sidewalk and bumped right into me…ended up on her you know what. So I helped her up, made sure she was okay and we went our separate ways."

"That's it? Do you know where she was coming from…where she was going?"

"It's not like we exchanged our life stories, Edward. Besides do you know how many people go about their business everyday on that block during rush hour?"

"And you're sure? You are absolutely positive it was her?"

Emmett studied the picture again and handed it back to Edward. "Well, she is thinner now and she was dressed in business clothes with her hair up in some fancy chick style but yeah it was her."

Edward didn't know if he was happy or not that Emmett had seen her. On one hand he knew she was still in New York on the other, he wouldn't be cursing himself now, knowing if he had gone to the meeting like he was supposed to do in the first place, _he_ would've been the one to bump into her.

"You'll find her. Just keep calling the places you've been calling. Sooner or later you're bound to become a pain in someone's ass and they'll give you her information."

How like Emmett to oversimplify everything, Edward thought. If only it were that easy. But he couldn't dismiss the idea out of hand. It did hold some merit, if only as a last resort.

"In the meantime, Eddie my boy, there is work to be done on this Volturi project now that it has been approved. We have a schedule to stick to."

"I know, I know." Edward said moving behind his desk once again. How the hell was he going to get anything done when he only had one thing…one person on his mind? And it had nothing to do with Volturi Corp.

XXX

Wednesday morning, Bell took her finished article on Aro Volturi to the Time Magazine offices on 6th and West 51st Street. The article itself took painstakingly long to write since she was barely able to concentrate on putting the simplest of sentences together. But she finally finished the night before and she could breathe easier knowing that she made the deadline.

The elevators opened to the 25th floor. The familiar sound of typing on keyboards, the quiet hum of printers, the smell of caffeine and the general feeling of barely suppressed energy assailed her senses. She had missed it, missed this…the frenzied pace of journalism. Since she got back from Iraq, she was coasting in her own existence. She did like setting her own deadlines, writing articles that she wanted to write most of the time but maybe she coasted enough. Maybe it was time to do more than just dip her foot in the pool, Maybe it was time for her to dive in.

Ever since her disastrous weekend, she felt the walls of her apartment closing in on her when Alice wasn't there. The silence which she always enjoyed, now only served to remind her how alone she really was. It was more than an uncomfortable feeling.

Lauren, the receptionist was too busy on the phone to note her arrival.

"I told you the other day sir, I cannot release that information. If you're that desperate, try Facebook or something." Lauren slammed the phone down shaking her head in disbelief. "Some people…" she muttered to herself.

"Rough morning?" Bella asked simply, her eyebrow raised.

Lauren finally looked up and noticed her. "Oh, Bella. Too bad I didn't see you sooner. That call was for you."

"For me?" Bella asked surprised. "I don't work here…officially anyway. What did he want?"

"He wants your contact information. He's called every day since Monday. I didn't give it to him obviously."

"Did he leave a name…a message?" Bella's curiosity was peaked now. Who on earth would be trying to reach her. Could it be Mr. Volturi? She hoped not. If he did, she would feel obligated to call him back.

"Nope. Maybe he'll take my advice and look for you on Facebook."

"It wouldn't do him any good. I'm not on it. I don't have the time."

Lauren looked incredulous. Bella guessed the idea of one not being socially connected on the internet was incomprehensible to her. The truth was she tried it a long time ago bit was on it so seldom, she forgot her password and the email account she used for notification emails was no longer in use.

"You mean nothing…not even Twitter or a blog of some sort?"

"Well I blog occasionally but it's under a screen name."

"So how do people get in touch with you?"

This conversation was going on way longer than Bella wanted. She just wanted to drop of her article and leave to meet Alice before her fashion show. "Lauren, I'm sorry but I really am in a rush. Can I go see Tyler now?"

"Oh sure…sorry. He's expecting you."

"Thanks."

Bella walked down the hall of offices think about her conversation with the receptionist. It was true she never had been a social butterfly; she never had the need to surround herself with an abundance of people. She had her small circle of friends and any publication she wanted to work with already knew how to get in touch with her. There was only one other person that mattered bit it was a moot issue. He didn't even remember who she was anyway. She fought down the depressing thought, pasted a fake smile on her face and entered Tyler's office with the article in hand.

XXX

Facebook! Of course Edward thought to himself scrubbing his haggard face with his hands. It was so simple yet so obvious. The receptionist may have been rude but she at least gave him a different avenue to pursue. He really didn't want his first contact with her after all this time to be through a social networking site. Hell, she may even ignore him but he had to take the chance.

Once more, he set his already tired eyed to the computer and began his search on all the social networking sites he could think of.

His heart swelled when he found a Facebook page match only to be deflated when he realized it was obvious it hadn't been updated in a long time. Still he tried to "add as a friend"; mentally crossing his fingers that maybe just maybe fate would conspire to be on his side.

He knew he had been putting off his work. Contractors needed to be called, permits needed to be approved but he wasn't able to focus on getting any of that done. Instead his fingers drummed over the keyboards, stroke after stroke, like a man possessed.

The phone rang interrupting his momentum. Edward debated on letting voice mail get it but decided to answer it instead. He was slacking off enough as it was.

"Yeah." He answered.

"Well good morning to you too sunshine." Jasper said somewhat amused on the other end of the phone.

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Knowing he was in for a lecture about work to be done, he beat him to the punch. "I'll call the electricians in a few minutes. Okay."

"Good to know now that you mention it but that's not what I'm calling about. I wanted to ask what you are doing Saturday night."

"Nothing. Why?" Edward asked suspiciously.

"Good. That's what I thought you'd say. You're coming to dinner with Alice and me. I want you to meet her."

Edward leaned back in his chair. "Jasper, I don't think I am in any shape to meet anyone let alone the girl you're crazy about."

"Nonsense. You have to eat don't you?"

"I _can_ cook you know."

"C'mon Edward. I don't ask for much."

It was true, Edward thought. He felt his position waning. If Jasper wanted him to meet his girlfriend then he would. He would just have to suck it up and pretend that he wasn't miserable.

"Fine but keep the PDA's to a minimum. I don't think I could take the overt displays of affection right now. Not until…"

"I know, I know." Jasper said cutting him off. "PDA's to minimum…got it. And Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

XXX

Knowing traffic to Lincoln Center where Fashion Week was being held would be a total nightmare; Bella skipped the cab ride and started to walk. The slight breeze of the warm September day wrapped around her like a lover's embrace. Despite her misgivings over handing it in, the article was good. Tyler had told her so. She felt it wasn't her best work by far. Her heart hadn't been in it and she feared that here heart wouldn't be in anything she did for a long time. Her heart was elsewhere. It was with a man that didn't love her back despite all the promises he made. The promises that were really prettily encased lies.

"Why Edward? Why did you make me fall in love with you?" She whispered brokenly to herself not caring who heard her on the busy city street.

As she came closer to Lincoln Center, she saw the tents set up, the mass of people ranging from the curious tourist, the commuter pissed because their commute was disrupted and all the people there for the events scheduled to take place.

Finding Alice's small pixie figure was like looking for a needle in a haystack in the mass that congregated in and around Lincoln Center and Bella didn't exactly have the advantage of height being only a scant few inches taller than her friend. Thankfully, she spotted an information booth set up close to the event tents.

"Hi, I'm looking for AB Designs." She asked the frenzied looking person behind the booth.

"The tent left of the main one." He replied. "Do you have a pass?"

Belle dug into her purse for the required documentation as well as her ID and showed it to him. After he made sure to inspect it thoroughly, he gave them back to her and allowed her on her way.

"Bella!" She heard the familiar exuberant shout of Alice as soon as she made her way into the tent. Alice threw her arms around her in greeting. "You finally made it."

"Sorry I'm late." Bella apologized finally getting a chance to look around the inside of the tent. "Wow, this is something."

"Isn't it?" Alice grabbed two champagne flutes off the tray of a passing by caterer and handed one to Bella. "Here, drink up."

"But it's only 11am."

"Well, its noon somewhere in the world." She said taking a sip of the golden liquid."Too bad you weren't here earlier. Jazz came by to wish me luck."

"Sorry I missed him" Bella said regretfully. It would have been nice to see the man that claimed Alice's heart.

"You'll meet him soon. Saturday night as a matter of fact. We're going out to dinner. Jazz is going to see if one of his brothers will join us."

Bella took on a horrified expression. "Are you trying to set me up?"

"Of course not!" Alice said, her expression a little too innocent for Bella's liking.

"Alice…"

"Seriously Bella. I'm not. I know you won't be ready for that for a long time. It's just an evening out, I swear."

Alice's tone was emphatic and Bella felt a little better about it. She didn't know if she would ever be ready to open herself up again to anyone else. It had only been a few days since her heart was irrevocably shattered but already she was rebuilding the walls she had foolishly let down the moment she met Edward. She was determined that no one would scale or breakdown those edifices again.

"Hey are you okay?" Alice asked her worriedly taking the time to really look at her friend, noticing her saddened expression, the downward tilt of her lips, the melancholia that stood out in her eyes.

"Just fine." Bella lied trying to look as happy as she could.

Alice looked at her more closely. "No. No, you're not. But you will be." Her voice comforting.

"Hey don't worry about me. Today's your day." Bella told her as she linked her arm with Alice's and walked towards the back of the tent and behind the curtain that separated the designers and models from the runway stage that the magazine editors and store buyers sat around. It was even more chaotic back there as they maneuvered through a maze of frantic designers, make-up artists and models; all of them shouting demands.

It turned out to be a long afternoon but Bella noticed that Alice was in her element and couldn't help but let Alice's natural lust for life attitude rub off on her, if only for a little while. She managed to discreetly remove herself from the opposite end of any camera lens that was aimed her way by any photographer that had mistaken her for someone important.

"Isabella Swan! Fancy meeting you here." A male voice called out to her. Bella turned around to see the familiar face of her old colleague, Mike Newton.

"Well if it isn't Newton." She said smiling as he gave her a brief hug. "I should say the same about you. Have you fallen down the food chain at Fox that they sent you here?"

He gave a sheepish grin. "Nah, I'm still producing. My girlfriend is one of the models."

Bella was relieved he had a girlfriend now. It lessened the awkwardness that had come between them since he had asked her on a date a few years ago. She ran into him occasionally at professional functions and although she genuinely liked him as a person, she never wanted to cross the line with him from friendship to something else. It was good he had moved forward.

"I'm glad you found someone. I hope she treats you well."

"Gretchen is the best. Not a diva like you would expect. So, word on the street is you're working freelance these days…no more traipsing through the Mid East."

"I resigned last year." She confirmed.

"You looking for anything steady? One of our reporters just left. We could use someone with your expertise at Fox."

Bella mulled it over in her head. She had been just thinking of doing something new but what Mike was offering would require her to be in front of a camera. She didn't know if she could do that. "I don't know Mike."

"Print is a dying medium Bella and you know it. We live in the days of a 24/7 news cycle." He pulled a business card from his wallet. "Here take my card. Call my secretary tomorrow and we'll set you up for an interview on Monday."

"Broadcast journalism isn't my thing." Bella told him. Besides, I don't fit the criteria for your women reporters…you know… blonde with certain attributes."

Mike smiled at that. "So...you'll be the token brunette with certain…ah… attributes." At his statement Bella felt her notorious blush rise to her cheeks. "Just think about it okay? Come for an interview and a test broadcast. It can't hurt."

No, it certainly couldn't, Bella thought. And he was right. Print journalism was going the way of the dinosaurs, antiquated and nearly extinct. Those that didn't explore their online options were closing up shop at an alarming rate.

"Okay." She said putting his card in her purse. "I'll call tomorrow."

"Don't forget." He cajoled her as he walked away to meet his girlfriend.

XXX

"Shit!" Bella said mumbling, glancing at her watch as she stood on the ridiculously long line at Lord and Taylor. All she wanted to do was pick up a new business suit for her interview at Fox News on Monday. Who knew that they would have a huge sale and everyone and their mother would decide to go shopping? Not to mention, the cashiers were moving at a snail's pace making sure each item purchased was packaged all nice and neat in that special Lord and Taylor way before the customer could walk out the door with it. She looked at the back pinstripe Jones of New York suit in her hand debating whether or not to get off the line and leave. It really was a nice suit and she did need it. Oh, hell she would just have to call Alice and tell her she was running late and would have to meet her at the restaurant.

Balancing the suit and her phone, she called Alice.

"Hey, I just wanted to tell you I'm going to be a little late. The line is taking forever here. I'll have to meet you there. Sinigual on 41st and third, right?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to wait for you? I could call Jazz and let him know we'll be late."

"It's okay Alice. As soon as I get out of here which is hopefully soon, I'll go home, get ready and take a cab there."

"It's too bad you have to go home first. I mean you're only a few avenues away now."

"I feel gross and I don't want to be hauling a shopping bag around with me all night."

"You're right." She sighed. "Okay, I'll see you when I see you."

Bella nervously tapped her foot on the floor as the line slowly moved forward by one person. The suit was starting to feel heavy draped over her arm as it was. The other customers around her started to verbalize their displeasure in waiting and Bella was glad she wasn't the only one that was pissed. She was just about to give up when another register opened. Maybe she wouldn't be too later after all.

XXX

Edward drummed the table with his fingertips in annoyance when they were finally seated. As soon as that got to the upscale Mexican restaurant, Jasper had announced his reservations for 4 and that was when Edward knew he had been set up. He couldn't believe his brother would do this to him, even after as a last resort he had asked Jasper for his private investigator friend's number to broaden his search for Bella. He made an appointment for Monday with the less than savory character but he was at the end of his rope. There was only so much he could accomplish using legal methods. And knowing all this, Jasper still set him up on a blind date without his knowledge. As if anything else mattered to him but finding the woman he loved.

"Will you stop that?" Jasper asked him pointing at Edward's hand. "It's really annoying. What's with you anyway?"

Edward didn't have a chance to answer as a waitress came over to them to get their drink orders.

"What can I get you fine men from the bar this evening?" The waitress asked placing two glasses of water on the table.

"Jack and coke." Edward told her still glaring at Jasper, barely sparing the waitress a glance.

"Scotch, neat." Jasper said with a smile to make up for Edward's grim expression.

"I'll be right back with your order. If you need anything else, my name is Susan." She said with a slight toss of her hair, trying to be flirtatious.

"Thank Susan." Jasper replied then turned to Edward when she was out of earshot. "Why are you being so rude Edward? Ever since we walked in the door, it's like you're a different person."

"I don't appreciate being set up. You know my circumstances. You know I have been going crazy looking for Bella all week. Why would you set me up on a blind date?" Edward seethed.

"Whoa, hold on there." Jasper held his hands up. "I think we have a huge misunderstanding here. This is not a blind date. Alice wanted me to meet her best friend and we didn't want it to be awkward for her to be with just the two us so I thought to ask you along to even the numbers."

"I just hope the best friend doesn't think it's a date."

"That's highly doubtful. Alice mentioned she just had a bad break up or something."

Susan came back with their drink orders and placed them in front of them. With a smile and a wink, she walked away swaying her hips. Neither brother looked in her direction.

"Sorry I over reacted. It's been a difficult week for me." Edward said raking his fingers through his hair. "I really can't wait to meet this girl of yours."

Jasper looked around him towards the front of the dimly lit restaurant and smiled. "You won't have to wait long. Here she is." Jasper got up to wave Alice over to where they were seated. "Alice, over here."

Alice practically skipped over to Jasper with a smile. Her eyes only on him as she gave him a passionate kiss. Edward got up from his seat and cleared his throat waiting for an introduction.

"Ooops sorry." Jasper said breaking off from the kiss. "Alice, I'd like you to meet my brother."

Alice turned an expectant smile to Jasper's brother. Her smile of greeting instantaneously gave way to a look of pure scorn and dislike as soon as she got a good look at the bronze haired man standing in front of her.

"Edward Cullen." She sneered quickly reaching for the water on the table and throwing it in Edward's face. Before either brother recovered from their absolute shock Alice stalked off already dialing Bella's number.

"Where are you?" She asked as she was just about to exit the front door.

"Relax." Bella told her. "The cab is pulling in front of the restaurant now."

"Stay in it. We're leaving."

"What? Why?"

"I'll explain later."

XXX

"What the hell, Jasper?" Edward said as he wiped the water from his face with a cloth napkin. "I don't even know the girl." Edward tried not to pay attention to the embarrassing stares they were receiving from the other diners.

"Apparently she knows you. Hang on. I'm going to find out what this is about."

Jasper caught up to Alice just as she stepped out onto the sidewalk. He grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him.

"Alice what the hell was that all about?"Jasper asked her confused and hurt.

She gave him a regretful look. "I'm sorry Jasper. I'll explain another time. Please trust me on this but you'll understand when I tell you. I have to go." He let go of her arm and watched her get into a waiting cab. Once the cab pulled away, he went back inside shaking his head.

"So did she tell you why she threw water in my face?" Edward asked taking a long swallow of his drink. While Jasper had run after Alice, Edward tried to figure out what could have prompted his brother's girlfriend to throw a drink in his face. He was glad it had only been the water, but all the same, the action perplexed him as well as the look of pure hatred that crossed her face as soon as she saw him. She knew him. There was no doubt of that the way she knew his name but for the life of him he couldn't figure out how he knew her.

"No but she implied that I would understand when she explained it at another time. Are you sure you've never met her Edward? I mean what would cause her to have that kind of reaction. She is not like that."

Edward shook his head. "I may have only just got my memory back but I swear Jasper, I have never seen her before in my life…So I guess we're leaving?" He asked when he saw Jasper take his wallet out and throw $30 on the table.

"I'm going to Alice's. I need to find out what's going on." Jasper said walking towards the entrance with Edward following him. He could almost feel eyes on his back as they weaved their way around the tables.

"I'm coming with you." Edward told him. If anything he needed to find out more than Jasper did.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Edward."

"Hey, I'm the one that got water thrown at me."

Jasper sighed. "C'mon then. Let's get a cab."

XXX

Bella noticed Alice was brimming with silent anger the whole drive downtown. She hadn't been that late after all, getting ready in record time. What could've happened in the brief time Alice had been in the restaurant?

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Bella asked her friend. "Did Jasper do or say something to upset you?"

Alice shook her head and looked at Bella sadly. 'I'll explain at home, okay?"

"Sure. Whatever you need Alice. I'm here for you."

"It's not what you think Bella. It's…Oh, never mind…I'll tell you upstairs."

The cab pulled over in front of their building and Bella paid the tab watching concerned as Alice treaded slowly to the front door looking as if the weight of the entire world were on her shoulders.

"Alice" Bella called out to her. "Since we're missing dinner, why don't I grab some Thai from Yum Yum's while you go upstairs and open a bottle of wine. We can have a nice girl's night in and drown our sorrows in alcohol and curry chicken."

"Sure Bella. That sounds like a great idea." Alice said with a half smile.

With that Bella walked off in the direction of 9th Avenue while Alice made her way upstairs. She feared her friend would need the alcohol more than she did.

XXX

"This is her building." Jasper informed Edward as they got out of the taxi in front of the old warehouse converted into a trendy loft apartment building. He turned to his brother. "Look, I think it would be best if you were to wait out here first."

"Why?" He had come all this way only to wait on the sidewalk?

"Because she may not let me in if you're with me. I promise, once we get this sorted out, I'll bring you up."

Edward conceded to Jasper's logic. "Okay, then. If you feel that's for the best, I won't argue with you. I'll wait here until you call me. I'll grab a coffee or something."

"Thanks." Jasper looked for Alice's apartment number on the series of buttons in the small entryway. Wish me luck." He said with a self deprecating grin, pressing the buzzer waiting for Alice to answer on the intercom.

"Hello." Alice's voice said through the tinny intercom button.

"Alice it's Jasper. I want to talk to you about earlier. Can I come up?"

There was an indecisive pause. "Is he with you?"

Jasper looked at Edward as if to say I told you so. "Yeah but he'll wait outside."

Another pause. "Okay, fine" she said with a sigh and rang the buzzer to let him in.


	10. Chapter 10

Alice sipped her wine and stared unseeing out the large window at the glimmering lights of the city while she waited for Jasper to come up. He had never seen her loft before and she was instantly regretful he would come over for the first time under these circumstances. It was supposed to be a fun, uncomplicated evening. It had all turned so sour before it even began. All because of that bastard, Edward Cullen. How was he even Jasper's brother? How could she not have known that? Then again if she had, would it have changed anything? It wouldn't change how she felt about Jasper but would've altered their relationship, still may alter it.

A swift knock on the door made her nearly jump before she realized who must be at the door. "Alice, it's me Jazz." Jasper's voice called out.

"It's open." She replied to him, her focus still on the city outside and the chaos inside her mind.

She heard the door open and close with the telltale click of the lock, heard Jasper's footsteps approach her as she tried to figure out what she was going to say, how she was going to explain her actions and the situation they both found themselves in. But she needed answers as well.

Jasper said nothing as he moved toward Alice. Her back was still to him and he could practically feel the tension radiating from her body. He stopped when he was a few feet from her and she could see his reflection in the window where he stood behind her.

"I suppose you want an explanation." She finally said with a sigh, taking another sip from her glass.

"It would be nice." Jasper said not wanting to aggravate her any further.

She sighed again, this time one of resignation and turned around to face him. Her eyes held a strange mix of sadness and anger.

"I want to know one thing first." She started. "When you said you were inviting your brother, Edward, I assumed you were inviting Edward _Hale_. How is it possible Edward _Cullen_ is your brother?"

Out of all the things she wanted to know, that was the last thing he would have expected. He couldn't keep the expression of surprise off his face. "Really? You're asking me _that_? How is that of any importance in light of what happened at the restaurant?" He didn't mean to sound so angry but the question seemed ridiculous to him and his patience was waning.

"Please Jazz, just answer the question." She implored. She couldn't answer why it was so important. She just felt she was deceived somehow. Not intentionally, but deceived none the less.

Jasper shoved his fingers through his mane of blonde hair. It was a small request and not exactly a secret. If it meant she would answer his questions, he would comply.

"I told you I was adopted?" He asked, to which she nodded. "Well…my parents and The Cullens were the best of friends. We were always together. Some of my earliest memories are of Edward, Emmett and I making mud pies and playing cops and robbers." Jasper gave a small chuckle then his expression turned serious. "My parents were killed in a car accident when I was seven. A semi-truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and drifted into the oncoming traffic lane. My parents never had a chance to swerve out of the way." He paused and cleared his throat trying to erase the painful memory that came unbidden into his head. Alice moved closer and caressed his cheek, full of compassion and hurt at what he went through.

"You don't have to say anymore. I think I understand." She said softly to him.

Jasper shook his head. "No, you asked. I might as well finish the story" He said taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles. "My parents had named Esme and Carlisle Cullen as my legal guardians should anything happen to them. Carlisle, being Carlisle, adopted me instead…wanting me to be an official member of his family. When I was 18, I changed my name back to Hale to honor my parents. But make no mistake" Jasper said fiercely, "The Cullens are still my family in every sense of the word…just not biologically."

Alice remained quiet after Jasper finished. It made sense now but how was she supposed to handle that fact that her boyfriend's brother destroyed her best friend and broke her heart.

"Now can you tell me how exactly you know my brother?" Jasper's voice broke into her thoughts.

Alice moved away, unsure how to continue. "I don't know him…not exactly." She confessed.

"I don't understand." Jasper asked confused. If Alice didn't know him, why the hell would she react to him the way she did?

Alice pictured in her mind the sheer devastation written all over Bella's face when Edward completely dismissed her. She thought of all the promises that Bella told her he made and subsequently broke, thereby breaking her.

"I don't have to know your brother, to understand what a heartbreaking pig he is." She said through gritted teeth, the image of Bella sobbing, filling her head. "He broke my best friend. She is nothing more than an empty shell now going through the motions because of him…your brother. He made her fall in love with him then he turned around and broke her heart."

It was Jasper's turn to get angry now. "Look, I don't know what kind of lies your friend has been feeding you or what kind of weird fixation she has on my brother but I can assure you, Edward has only been in love once in his life and…" He didn't get a chance to finish as Alice reeled angrily at him.

"Bella is not a liar nor is she what you call 'fixated'." Alice said heatedly daring him to contradict her.

"She must be…" Jasper stopped mid-sentence, his face paling as the realization of what Alice just said dawned on him. "Wait…did you say _Bella_?" Could it be true? Could Alice's Bella and Edward's Bella be one and the same. Had she been right within grasp this whole time? It was too coincidental not to be true.

"Yes, Bella, my best friend." Alice rolled her eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world "She is also my roommate but you already knew her name." She was puzzled by Jasper's odd reaction.

He shook his head. "No, strangely enough you never mentioned her name to me. My God…if only I would have known." The last part, he whispered mostly to himself. "Do you have a picture of her? I need to make sure." He asked, his tone sounding disturbingly manic to his own ears.

"Yeah, just a sec." She located the picture on her phone that she had the bartender take of the two of them on her birthday and showed it to Jasper.

"Here, this was taken last Saturday." She watched Jasper pale even more, his eyes widen in incredulity as he inspected the photo. "Jasper, you're worrying me. What's going on? Am I to take it that you believe me now?"

He glanced back up at her. "Yes, Alice, I believe you but not for the reasons you think. God, how do I explain this?...Did Bella ever tell you how she met Edward?"

"Of course." She said in an affronted tone. "She told me a lot of things, Jasper."

"Yeah, well you only know half the story." He said letting out a curt laugh.

"Look, if you are trying to insinuate that Bella is at fault…I don't want to hear it."

"No, that's not it at all. Edward was…well he was injured in Iraq. There was an explosion. Edward was far enough away that he wasn't killed but close enough that the impact threw him and caused a head injury."

Memories came flooding back to Alice. "I remember that. Bella went crazy trying to find him. No one gave her any information."

"Yes, well…the incident rendered him comatose for about a month…we didn't know if he was going to make it…but he did. Unfortunately, when he woke up, he had no memory of the event or of the entire month preceding it. The month where he met Bella."

"That's why he didn't know who she was last week when she went to meet him. But why was he there, if he didn't remember? It doesn't make any sense."

"I really don't have the answer for that. Edward said he was compelled to be there. Later that night he remembered everything. He has been trying to find Bella ever since."

It was too much to take in. Alice slowly sat down on the sofa in a state of shock. "So he really does love her then?" she asked looking up at him. She needed to make sure otherwise, Bella could never know he was ever here.

"More than anything. " Jasper confirmed. "He literally has been driving himself crazy trying to locate her. Bella is a hard person to track down."

"My God. This is incredible. She has been so despondent all week. When she finds out…" Alice's eyes went wide with shock. "Shit! She's going to be here any moment. Is Edward still outside?" She asked panicking. If Bella saw him and didn't know the full story, who knew what she would do?

Jasper was already on the phone.

"Edward" He said as soon as he picked up the phone. "Are you still outside?"

"Just finished my coffee. So what's the deal?"

"You need to come up here now. Alice will buzz you in."

"I'm allowed up now? That's progress." Edward said sarcastically. He had only been wasting 15 minutes out here getting suspicious looks from passersby as if he were casing the area for a robbery.

"Just come up." Jasper sighed into the phone and hit the "end" button. Alice had already hit the buzzer and was pouring herself another glass of wine. "Can you get me one of those?" He asked her.

"You need it too, huh?" She asked as she gave him a glass.

He only took a fortifying swallow as an answer. There was a soft knock on the door. Alice opened it to see Edward standing there, hands in his pockets. He looked just like Bella's picture of him except his face looked more drawn and his hair looked as if he ran his fingers through it too many times.

Edward looked at his brother's girlfriend as she stood in the doorway and was relieved to note that any signs of her earlier animosity had faded. It was now replaced with what he could only read as sympathy. This bewildered him. Why the sudden change? What exactly did she say to Jasper tell and what did Jasper tell her?

He decided to throw out an olive branch for his brother's sake. "Alice…I'm sorry if you think I have offended you in some way but I can assure you if I did, it was without any malicious intent."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed his sleeve pulling him into the apartment and shutting the door behind him. Surprised, he glanced at Jasper who just shrugged smiling like the cat who just swallowed the proverbial canary.

"Okay…not the greeting I expected."

"Edward, we have something to tell you." Jasper was serious now.

"You're getting married." Edward blurted out the first thing he could think of but it sounded wrong to him.

"What? No…at least not yet." Jasper fumbled over his words. Alice covered her mouth to prevent the nervous laughter from escaping.

"Edward, I want to apologize for my rude behavior earlier but once Jasper explains I think you will understand." Alice conveyed to him.

They were both being too cryptic to him and he didn't like it. He wished he knew what was being silently stated between the conspiring glances at each other.

"Perhaps you should sit down for this." Jasper said gently.

"I am damn well not sitting down!" Edward glowered in frustration. "Just say it, whatever it is."

"I found…"

Before Jasper could finish his sentence, a voice called out from behind the door as the lock in the door made a clicking sound.

"I hope you saved me some wine for me, Alice."

All three heads turned to the door. Two knew who to expect, one didn't.

_I know that voice_, Edward thought. _It can't be! _ Maybe he _should_ have taken Jasper's advice and sat down.

The door seemed to open in slow motion. There _she _was, bent over, picking up a plastic take out bag from the floor. Edward sucked in his breath, feeling the ground shift beneath him. He didn't question how, he didn't question why, his only focus was her. After days of fruitless searching, here she was right in front of him.

"Bella" he whispered huskily staring at her as if he had seen a ghost.

Startled at the voice, she straightened up and stared at the man that destroyed her dreams. Her mouth formed a silent "O" and the bag she just picked up fell from her now listless fingers.

In two quick strides he had his arms wrapped around her, holding her close, sobbing words of love and apologies. Something was wrong, he thought through the haze of joy that enveloped him the moment he saw her. Why wasn't she hugging him back? Why did she just sand there, immobile, her hands stiff at her sides?

Bella couldn't wrap her around the fact that Edward was here in her apartment let alone the fact that he was wrapping his arms around _her_. Why here? Why now? Why after his careless dismissal of her did he suddenly find his way to her door, invading the one space where she could actually have some semblance of peace no matter how fleeting? She didn't know what to think…how to respond. So she did nothing but breathe in his clean scent letting him embrace her as she stood stiffly before him.

Bella hesitated reciprocating the embrace although she wanted nothing more than to hold him as desperately as he was holding her. The electricity that had been between them from the start was still there. She could feel it coursing through them, threatening her resolve to keep an emotional distance. It would only hurt her more, if that were even possible, should he decide to leave her once again.

Edward pulled back from the embrace, searching her eyes for answers, a response; anything but she gave nothing away. Her expression was one of confusion and doubt.

"Ed…Edward?" She sounded so forlorn…so lost he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms again and never let her go. Instead, she sidestepped away from him, wrapping her arms around herself as she walked further into her apartment.

"What are you doing here?" She asked turning around to face him once more when she felt she was at a safe distance.

"I thought that would be obvious, love." His voice was still the same smooth velvet it had always been. She realized then all her dreams and memories never quite captured the full richness of it as the sound sluiced through her.

"Don't." She said her eyes closing against the torment, her hands fisting at her sides. "Don't call me that. You have no right. Not after you made a fool of me." After the initial shock of seeing him again, she felt anger bubbling to the surface threatening to escape in torrential waves.

"Bella, please let him explain." Alice urged, seeing her friend was close to a breaking point.

Bella turned to Alice with a pained expression. "Do you know something about this?"

Alice shook her head. "Not until tonight, I swear."

"Bella, please…I can clarify everything…if you'll only let me." Edward pleaded with her, extending his hands out to her, willing her to come to him. There was too much distance between them, not only physically but he could feel her emotional distance as well and it was so painful it nearly brought him to his knees. There was no way he could let her go. He was confident once she knew the truth; things would be as they should be.

Bella suddenly felt cornered. They all looked at her, too afraid to say anything that might cause her to flee but expecting a response from her that she didn't know she could give. She needed to leave…to escape from this but her curiosity was starting getting the better of her.

Edward could sense her panic. She was getting ready to bolt and he couldn't have that. He looked at Jasper, his eyes pleading for help. Jasper nodded in understanding and he took Alice's hand in his.

"C'mon. Let's leave the two of them alone."

"But what if she needs me?" Alice protested.

"She won't." Jasper said hoping that he wasn't wrong. He gave a warning look to his brother as they headed out the door.

Bella watched the door shut. It was just her and Edward now and the walls that felt like they were closing in on her. Her hands shook as she poured herself a glass of the wine Alice had sitting out. Part of her wanted to listen to what he had to say. He looked so hurt, so sad that she wanted to run back into his arms but her anger held her back.

"So talk." Bella said trying to be flippant, wanting to let him know how his very presence affected her but it came out sounding angry and hurt.

Now that Edward was given a slight reprieve…a chance to explain, he found himself nearly at a loss for words. He studied her angered stance noting the fatigue and wariness around her eyes, the fading scar by her hairline from when she was trapped in the hotel explosion, the loss of weight that could be defined by the jutting of her collar bones through her skin and he was saddened by all the time that was wasted, time they could have been together if it hadn't been for his damn head injury.

Bella was still waiting for an explanation as she read the emotions play over Edward's face. "Well, I can see this is going nowhere fast." She said as she turned to walk away from him again.

He grabbed her around and turned her around to face him, his eyes pleading with her. "Don't walk away." He said, tracing her jaw line with his other hand. Her breath hitched at the touch. His mouth was so close to hers, if she leaned up just a few inches they would be kissing. He gave a half smile letting her know, he shared the same thought.

Bella cleared her throat diffusing the too intimate moment. She wasn't ready for this. He only backed away slightly giving the illusion of letting her have some personal space.

"I was in an explosion." He started, his eyes never leaving hers. "Ironically it was the day before I was supposed to leave for that mission I had told you about."

She let out a shocked gasp and tears rose to her eyes threatening to spill over. "I heard about that. I was searching for you everywhere, praying you weren't killed."

"I was lucky to be alive…if you could call it that at the time." He gave a short mocking laugh.

"You were hurt?" she asked him through trembling lips, now looking more closely at him for any sign of injury.

He nodded. "My head mostly. I was in a coma. When I woke up, the last thing I remember was getting dressed to meet my friends at the bar. That was the night I had met you, by the way. The doctors called it retrograde amnesia." He watched her expression, measuring her reaction to what he was telling her, hoping she understood.

"Amnesia." She repeated. "So, you forgot me." Maybe she was being vain but it cut deep that he could have forgotten her so easily as if she might not have meant anything at all.

Edward could see her hurt and wanted so badly to erase it. "I can see what you're thinking and it's not true. You mean _everything_ to me." He said with true conviction, his hands coming up to rest on her shoulders. "The truth is I forgot _everything _about the month before the explosion_…_not just you. Please Bella, if you only knew how desperate I have been to find you since I got my memory back."

"When?" the question was vague but he knew what she was asking.

"Last Saturday night." He admitted.

"So you were at the observation deck on the exact date and time we were supposed to meet before your memory was restored?" Her tone suggested she didn't believe him.

"I know it sounds odd. I don't even know if _I _would believe me but I'm telling you the truth. All I can say is perhaps on some subconscious level part of me remembered and I was there without understanding why. Then you showed up. My mind may not have recognized you but my heart did…my _soul_ did." He implored her with his eyes to believe him. "After you dropped the photo and left, all day I kept hearing snippets of conversations we had in my head. I thought I was going crazy. It wasn't until later that night I remembered everything. I went through the box of things that was sent home from the army and found this." He pulled the taped together photo from his wallet and showed it to her. "It was you, Bella. You were the catalyst that returned my memories to me."

Bella looked at the photo that was taken over a year ago and she broke. Sobs escaped her unchecked. Edward held her close in his arms as her hands gripped his shirt. He closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair, reveling in the fact that he could hold her once again.

"I have been trying to find you ever since." He whispered brokenly into her hair. "I tried Forks first but they told me your father had dies. I am so very, very sorry Bella that I wasn't there with you to help you through that."

Bella didn't trust herself to speak so she nodded in understanding as the tears still flowed. He did love her; he never stopped, not really.

"I called every publication you wrote an article for hoping someone would tell me how to get in touch with you. I fear I may have annoyed quite a few people." He chuckled briefly.

Bella pulled back suddenly wiping her eyes as the realization came to her. "It was you." she said. "You were the one that was on the phone with the receptionist at Time. I was standing right there when you spoke with here. All this time I thought it was Aro Volturi." She mused mostly to herself.

"Aro Volturi?" Now it was Edward's turn to be surprised.

She nodded. "I interviewed him on Monday. He kind of gave me the creeps. I thought _he_ was trying to find me."

"My God, Emmett." He said as the thought struck home. At Bella's confused look, he explained. "You bumped into my brother…Emmett on the street. That's where you were coming from. I was supposed to go to that meeting. The odds. What are the odds? So many times this past week, you were so close…so damn close."

"Tell me this is real…that you're real…that this is not a dream that I'll wake up from." Bella said even though she could feel him right here in front of her. She needed to be sure.

"This is most definitely real, my love." He said just before his lips came crashing down on hers. His mouth begged for her to open for him and when she complied, he plundered. With a sob, he let loose a groan of pure ecstasy. This was home. Edward threaded his hands through her hair as his tongue delved. He could taste the salt from her tears on her lips, hear her sighs and knew she felt the same way.

Without any conscious thought, his hands unbuttoned her blouse and pushed it off her shoulders to reveal the lacy confection of her bra underneath. He held her bare shoulders as he kissed his way down her neck until he got to the top globes of her breasts that peaked out from beneath the lace. Bella tilted her head back and gripped him to steady herself when she felt his lips and tongue sucking her nipples through the satin. The sensation was so erotic she could help the moan that escaped her.

Needing to fell her lips to skin, he impatiently pulled her bra down to give him access to the cream skin beneath.

"God, how I missed you." He said before his mouth continued their delicious assault. He picked her up, her legs wrapping around him. She could feel his hard length throbbing through his jeans as he rubbed against her through her panties. She felt a surge of desire so hot, she almost exploded right then.

"Edward, please." She couldn't take it anymore. She had been so long without him; she just had to have him now.

"Bedroom." He whispered huskily. She nodded her head in the direction of her room and he carried her there swiftly. He was near his breaking point. He wanted to go slow but his body refused to comply. All he could think of was the fierce need to make her his again.

Without ceremony, he dropped her on the bed and nearly ripped off his shirt. He crawled to her like a predator going after his prey, his eyes glazed with lust and need. Bella felt her mouth go dry when he ripped her panties from her then shrugged of his own jeans. He was rock hard and ready for her as he settled himself in between her legs sliding himself back and forth, up and down over her clitoris making her ready for his entry. She was already so wet; she didn't need any more coaxing. She arched her back and wrapped her legs around him, telling him silently that she needed him. He needed no further coaxing. He gazed down at her, his eyes a molten green.

"Mine." He growled as he plunged. He buried his face in her neck, sucking her, kissing her as he thrust in and out. He tried to maintain a slow tempo but he was overwhelmed by his need and his love, his body mindlessly increased the pace.

Bella became a wild thing in his arms, thrashing her head, gripping his buttocks to pull him deeper in side. She met him thrust for thrust, squeezing her heat around him, sheathing him tight. He just wanted to crawl inside her and stay there forever. He felt her orgasm roll through her, covered her mouth with his own, swallowing her screams of pleasure.

Edward felt his own release upon him as he drove himself faster and deeper. With a final roar he felt his hot seed flow out of him and with it, his energy. He rolled over Bella gathering her into his arms so she could lay her head on his chest. They were both sweaty from their exertions but neither cared.

Bella looked up at him and wiped a tear from his cheek with her finger and brought it to her mouth. He tightened his hold on her.

"I love you." He said when he could find the energy to speak again.

"As I love you."

He grinned, his teeth gleaming white in the dark. "I realize that this may not be the most proper of settings but I did promise you I'd have a question for you when we saw each again."

"Mmm, always the gentleman" She sighed though the delicious things he had been doing to her body could never be classified as gentlemanly. Bella held her breath as she just realized what he just said. Surprised she leaned up on her elbow and looked at him, searching his eyes for answers.

Edward took her hand in his and looked up at her, gazing intently into her eyes. "Isabella Marie Swan, I promise to love you every moment of forever. Would you do me the exceptional honor of becoming my wife?"

Time for Bella stopped as her mouth gaped open. She wanted to be stuck in this moment forever.

Edward was getting worried. Bella wasn't saying anything as she just looked at him with a deer caught in the headlights expression on her face.

"I realize I'm not doing this with a ring…" Bella silenced him by placing a finger over his lips.

"Shh, don't ruin it. This is perfect." She said, her smile bright enough to light the darkest of caverns.

"Is that a 'yes'?" he asked afraid to believe that after all this time, Bella would finally be his in every sense of the word.

"Yes." She said.

XXX

Up next: Epilogue (unless you would like for me to continue)


End file.
